Posted in SIDS

Games of Joy and a Recap

The 348 games of Brown Bear, Panda Bear that I played with Katie this week brought me joy.

I love seeing her try to strategize her moves and the look of recognition on her face when she realizes that she’s won makes me smile. But what I love most of all is that she’s just as happy when I win.

Which, sadly, isn’t often.

How about you? What brought you joy this week! Please share. :)

His Name Was David Edward

Tonight I lay my son down to sleep and I cried for my mother, a woman who laid her baby boy down to sleep and found him gone forever the next morning.

He was barely older than Matthew and he was my mother’s first born, the one who taught her just how inconceivably intense the love of a parent is for their child.

She found him dead. Crib death they called it then. This baby, my older brother, gone before he had truly lived. Gone before he walked, but not before he smiled. Before he ran, but not before he laughed.

His name was David and he was breathtakingly beautiful.

I think of him often, wondering what he would have been like as a grown man, as my older brother.

I ache for my mother. No, not ache, because that cannot begin to touch what I feel. My heart is shattered for my mother. Young, full of love and joy. With a baby who died in the very next room. That is an unfathomable pain.

My mother…
You are brave
You are strong.
You are forever changed by your sweet son…by both his life and by his death.

I never take bedtime for granted.
I can’t and I won’t.

I love and admire you, Mom.

You are stronger than you know.

About me

Nichole Beaudry @NicholeBeaudry Location: Northern California
Each and every day, I strive to appreciate the wonder, beauty, and whimsy in the small moments, the moments that, when strung together, form a lifetime.
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