Posted in Motherhood

Because of His Peace

This week’s Small Moments Mondays post comes from Miranda, who blogs over at Not Super…Just Mom.

And before I go any further, I have a confession to make.

I have a huge bloggy crush on Miranda.

Aside from the fact that she’s stunningly beautiful, there’s an ease about her writing…a warmth that makes you feel immediately at ease.

And she’s stunning. Did I mention that already?

The most remarkable thing about Miranda’s writing is just how honest it is. It is that honesty that keeps me going back for more.

For a taste of the ease, honesty, and warmth I’m talking about, please read So Happy Together, He Needed Me. And I Found a Way to Get There, and Second Shift.

Thank you, Miranda…for your words here and for not getting a restraining order against me for being such a stalker fan.

Because of His Peace–by Miranda

Sleep deprivation is a special kind of torture reserved for the vilest of prisoners.

And moms.

My son? Not a great sleeper. Not even a little bit kind of like a great sleeper.

Joshua wakes up once or twice a night almost every night. We get the occasional sleep-through-the-night here and there but never consistently. We’ve tried everything we can think of to get him to sleep and he just doesn’t do it.

(He comes by a double-dose of stubborn honestly if I’m being, well, honest.)

Most of the time, he just needs to be held for a minute. Reminded that I’m there and that I’m still carrying his heart in my heart.

So, I go to him and I hold him and I set my breathing to match his. When I think his mama-love tank is sufficiently refilled, I put him back in his bed, tiptoe to my own, and finish out the night.

Most of the time, I manage through the days with a few cups of coffee.

But sometimes we have a really bad night like last night where no amount of coffee in the world will help.

After nearly two hours’ worth of attempts to get him back to sleep in his own bed, my husband brought him to our room and Joshua immediately curled into my pillow and fell asleep. So I did, too.

But I had angry sleep. The kind of sleep that isn’t refreshing. The kind of sleep where you wake up full of piss and vinegar and just plain mad.

Joshua, like always, was full of sunshine.

He woke up in our bed, looked around, saw me and said “Oh, hi, Mama! I get down! I go play trains!” and off he went, ready to tackle the world with his innocence.

I was mad all day because of how tired I was. I was frustrated with him. With myself. With the dog. With the fact that my husband was at work instead of home being miserable with me. My thoughts were clouded with exhaustion.

And then I realized that he had climbed on the couch and was sitting almost underneath me, resting his head on my arm.

And I felt my heart warm some at his touch.

When I tried to put him down for his nap he fought me by flailing backwards in my arms so his body was swinging wildly from my hip. I was angry that he was being so unruly. He was laughing.

I felt myself smile at his laughter in spite of my anger.

When I tried to put him down for his nap (for the third time, and a nap which he did not actually take), he drank his milk and then flipped over so we were chest to chest. He tucked his face into my neck and rested there for a minute, breathing on my throat. Then he leaned his head back a little, smiled at me, and settled back into me.

I felt myself soften a bit because of his peace.

Joshua is the small moment in my life. He is my life. And I’m thankful for his presence in it.

You can also find Miranda on Twitter and Facebook. Please go say hello!

Careful What You Wish For

I am so happy to have Natalie, from My Crazy Busy Life, here this week on Small Moments Mondays to share a small moment with us.

I wish I lived closer to Natalie because she’s the kind of girl with whom I’d go out for drinks (yes, multiple) and laugh until we cried. She’s funny, down to earth, genuine, and kind. I am so grateful to have her as my friend.

This post tugs at my heart, as Katie is preparing to start preschool next week…a huge change in our life. Natalie’s words are so lovely.

Thank you, Natalie, for sharing this here. I am so grateful for your generosity!

Careful What You Wish For by Natalie

For the past year or so, I’ve hoped the preschool would start a carpool, drop off line. I thought it would be great if I could let my youngest out at the door so I didn’t have to get out and walk her in. That way, I wouldn’t feel so guilty about dragging myself out of the house in my pj’s & attempting to inhale my first cup of coffee.

Not that long after Christmas break, I got what I wished for. The school sent home a letter that they would begin a preschool drop off line. I should be ecstatic right? I should feel over-the-moon-happy about it. I mean, this is EXACTLY what I wanted. Right?

One morning during the drop off, I look at my little girl- my baby- looking so big in her booster seat and waiting our turn. She was so excited about getting dropped off, “just like her brothers.” And it hit me. She would be starting kindergarten soon. She’s no longer a baby, toddler, or even preschooler. My little girl was officially a kid.

That one moment changed how I viewed the carpool lane. It was no longer a convenience. It was moving us forward to another phase of life.

Each little thing you cross off the list… The bottles, the diapers, bloomers with dresses, carseat, then eventually you realize their physical need for you is gone. They are physically capable of walking into school safely. Physically capable of getting through life without you. I’m now in the phase of guiding her to who she is meant to be.

That moment made me intensely miss the days I still had a baby.

Please go say hello to Natalie over on My Crazy Busy Life. Don’t miss Best Birthday Card Ever, Finding Your Words, and Sweet Home Chicago.

You can also find Natalie on Twitter. Go follow! You’ll love her, I promise!

Big Enough Days

This week, I have a new friend here on Small Moments Monday.

I must have been under a rock, because when I mentioned to several people that JoAnn, from Ostriches Look Funny, was stopping by to share a small moment, I was met with so much enthusiasm. It appears that JoAnn is known and loved far and wide. And the more I read from her, the more I love her too.

In an email exchange that we had last week, JoAnn wrote, “Fun fact: I wrote this while eating a lemon popsicle” to which I replied, “Fun fact: I have an irrational fear of popsicles. I cannot eat them or touch them. They completely freak me out.” I think our friendship was truly meant to be.

JoAnn is due to have her baby next week (!). Please stop by and say hello to her over on her blog. Don’t miss This Far I Have Been: Almost Bananas With a Side of Real Estate, A Declaration from the Ice Queen, and The Whispery Things.

Thank you, JoAnn, for coming sharing this lovely post with us. I am so incredibly grateful.

Big Enough Days — by JoAnn

Yesterday was rainclouds and fireplaces, but in the afternoon, afternap time, the sun came out and the grass sparkled diamonds. It was time for cherry picking in the front yard, with bright blue baskets, two little boys, and a goose.

The goose was picking cherries straight off the tree, honking happily and staining his beak pink with cherry juice. My two year old son was grabbing fistfuls of cherries, holding them in his chubby fists and yelling at the goose, “TOO YOUD!” which means “TOO LOUD!” if you speak two year old, which I doubt the goose does.

My three year old split his time between eating cherries and throwing them at the farm dogs. The farm dogs split their time between running away and eating the former ammo off of the grass.

I stood under the tree with basket slung over my forearm, sipping Chai.
The boys played happily by my legs, and my oldest asked if he could climb the ladder when he gets big enough. I said “Yes, when you get big enough,” because I’m not one to squash ladder-climbing dreams.

The “big enough days” seem far enough away, and as I sipped my tea and filled my basket with violently purple cherries, I decided that three and two are wonderful ages, and May is a beautiful month, and everyone should drink Chai Tea under a cherry tree.

In a day or so, the cherries will split and spoil because of the early morning rain, but for today it’s all things ripe and sweet. I used to worry so much about the splitting, the spoiling of life. I am learning, slowly, that the same moments of opportunity to enjoy ripe fruit on a farm have the potential to bring creepy fruit eating bugs, biting geese, bees, little boy poop, and all sorts of minor disasters.

I look at my two boys, grabbing leaves and staining their faces with fresh cherry juice, and decide that I’ll be brave and embrace my life, all of it, creepy bugs and all.

Small moments like this are what life is all about.

Please go follow JoAnn on Twitter and like her on Facebook!

Small Moments Spotlight #10

This week, just one post.

One post that will take your breath away, make your heart expand, make you love more fiercely, appreciate life more fully.

Please go read 3.21, by Kelle Hampton, who blogs over at enjoying the small things. Though I don’t know Kelle personally, I truly hope to meet her one day.

Spend some time with Kelle and her beautiful children…let their joy infuse your life.

It certainly has mine.

If you have submitted a piece and it isn’t featured here, that doesn’t mean it won’t be in the future.

If you should notice a small moment post, or if you’ve written one yourself, please use my “contact me” tab (up there in the navigation bar) and send me the link; I’d love to read it.

If you’ve been featured here in the Small Moments Spotlight and would like the button, let me know and I’ll send it your way.


About me

Nichole Beaudry @NicholeBeaudry Location: Northern California
Each and every day, I strive to appreciate the wonder, beauty, and whimsy in the small moments, the moments that, when strung together, form a lifetime.
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