Posted in Love

Bag of Joy

This week, this purse, my early anniversary gift from Craig, brought me tremendous joy.

Not just because of the purse itself (which I contemplated sleeping with last night, so in love am I), but also because of the words that accompanied it.

When Craig asked what I wanted this year and I showed him pictures of this purse, he never…

…tried to dissuade me,

…asked if I was certain about the color, or

…encouraged me to opt for a color more in line with what I’d normally choose…black or tan.

(In fact, I’ve been shlepping around the same black and tan diaper bag for four years now!)

Instead, he told me that I should choose whatever color made me happy and that I should just take a risk.

That he indulged me and saw that I was trying to break free of my comfort zone brought me immeasurable joy.

And the purse? Swoon.

Thank you, babe!

How about you? What brought you joy this week? Please share it with me here!

Because of His Peace

This week’s Small Moments Mondays post comes from Miranda, who blogs over at Not Super…Just Mom.

And before I go any further, I have a confession to make.

I have a huge bloggy crush on Miranda.

Aside from the fact that she’s stunningly beautiful, there’s an ease about her writing…a warmth that makes you feel immediately at ease.

And she’s stunning. Did I mention that already?

The most remarkable thing about Miranda’s writing is just how honest it is. It is that honesty that keeps me going back for more.

For a taste of the ease, honesty, and warmth I’m talking about, please read So Happy Together, He Needed Me. And I Found a Way to Get There, and Second Shift.

Thank you, Miranda…for your words here and for not getting a restraining order against me for being such a stalker fan.

Because of His Peace–by Miranda

Sleep deprivation is a special kind of torture reserved for the vilest of prisoners.

And moms.

My son? Not a great sleeper. Not even a little bit kind of like a great sleeper.

Joshua wakes up once or twice a night almost every night. We get the occasional sleep-through-the-night here and there but never consistently. We’ve tried everything we can think of to get him to sleep and he just doesn’t do it.

(He comes by a double-dose of stubborn honestly if I’m being, well, honest.)

Most of the time, he just needs to be held for a minute. Reminded that I’m there and that I’m still carrying his heart in my heart.

So, I go to him and I hold him and I set my breathing to match his. When I think his mama-love tank is sufficiently refilled, I put him back in his bed, tiptoe to my own, and finish out the night.

Most of the time, I manage through the days with a few cups of coffee.

But sometimes we have a really bad night like last night where no amount of coffee in the world will help.

After nearly two hours’ worth of attempts to get him back to sleep in his own bed, my husband brought him to our room and Joshua immediately curled into my pillow and fell asleep. So I did, too.

But I had angry sleep. The kind of sleep that isn’t refreshing. The kind of sleep where you wake up full of piss and vinegar and just plain mad.

Joshua, like always, was full of sunshine.

He woke up in our bed, looked around, saw me and said “Oh, hi, Mama! I get down! I go play trains!” and off he went, ready to tackle the world with his innocence.

I was mad all day because of how tired I was. I was frustrated with him. With myself. With the dog. With the fact that my husband was at work instead of home being miserable with me. My thoughts were clouded with exhaustion.

And then I realized that he had climbed on the couch and was sitting almost underneath me, resting his head on my arm.

And I felt my heart warm some at his touch.

When I tried to put him down for his nap he fought me by flailing backwards in my arms so his body was swinging wildly from my hip. I was angry that he was being so unruly. He was laughing.

I felt myself smile at his laughter in spite of my anger.

When I tried to put him down for his nap (for the third time, and a nap which he did not actually take), he drank his milk and then flipped over so we were chest to chest. He tucked his face into my neck and rested there for a minute, breathing on my throat. Then he leaned his head back a little, smiled at me, and settled back into me.

I felt myself soften a bit because of his peace.

Joshua is the small moment in my life. He is my life. And I’m thankful for his presence in it.

You can also find Miranda on Twitter and Facebook. Please go say hello!

Hugs and Joy

Since Katie began preschool, Matthew has been truly feeling her absence.

It started on the first day, when at pickup, he squealed at the sight of her from across the room.

But last night, he ran up to her twice and hugged her with the kind of jubilance that is reserved just for toddlers.

He has always loved her, but this is different…more urgent, somehow.

It’s as though he wants to hold her close so she doesn’t disappear.

There’s something magical about the sight of his chubby arms around her waist and the way she showers the top of his head with kisses.

And it brings me to tears to see that connection between them.

One of my greatest wishes as their mother is for them to have a closeness that weaves them together…a closeness that outlasts me and Craig.

Their connection brings me such tremendous joy.

Okay, your turn!

What brought you joy this week?

Whether it was something small or large, I would so love to hear about it.

I Didn’t Know…

Before my children were born, I dreamed of all of the ways that I would show them love. I knew that I would comfort them, dry their tears, offer encouragement, and be their safe place to land.

What I didn’t know is how they’d offer me those same things in return.

I didn’t know that waiting for Katie would teach me a level of patience beyond anything I could have ever imagined

…that she would help me to learn to trust my gut….

…and that she would stretch my heart beyond all comprehension.

I didn’t know that Matthew would teach me that I don’t always know best

…that he would melt my heart in a way that only a son could

…and that he would help me to grow stronger.

I didn’t know that on days like today, when I was the one with tears, that my babies would comfort me and be my safe place to land.

This parenting thing teaches me something new every day. Oh, how lucky I am to be their mother.

This post is linked up over at Things I Can’t Say.  Thank you, Shell, for encouraging us all to share photos of our babies…this was so lovely.

And speaking of Shell, I am so honored to be her featured BFF today over on Things I Can’t Say. It would mean the world to me if you would stop by. I’m talking about how PBS has corrupted my child and I need your help!

About me

Nichole Beaudry @NicholeBeaudry Location: Northern California
Each and every day, I strive to appreciate the wonder, beauty, and whimsy in the small moments, the moments that, when strung together, form a lifetime.
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