Posted in Letters for Lucas

Friendship and understanding

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one. –C. S. Lewis

Most friendships begin with all of those lovely things that we have in common with another person and grow over time.

But, some friendships are rooted in shared sorrows and an intimate understanding of loss.

My friendship with Tonya began as the latter. The loss of a parent–in Tonya’s case, both parents–brought us together.

And over time, our relationship has evolved into so much more than that.

We laugh, encourage one another, and celebrate life together.

But there’s an underlying knowledge that she understands me.

When I experience great joy, she knows that there’s a part of me mourns my father.

When I’m struggling, she knows just what to say that both acknowledges what I’m saying but also what I’m not.

I am guest posting for Tonya today over on Letters for Lucas, where I’ve shared a letter to my mother, a woman who I don’t thank nearly often enough.

It would mean the world to me if you came by to say hello.

Thank you for your friendship, Tonya. I count you amongst my greatest blessings.


Connected through Immeasurable Loss

Letters for LucasOne of my dear friends, Tonya, lost her parents in a tragic accident several years ago.

They were young, vibrant, generous, and kind.

We spoke last year about what it means to have lost a parent, in my case, and two, in hers.

We spoke of death, faith, and pain and how we will explain our losses to our young children.

She asked me to share with her my thoughts all that time ago and I kept procrastinating, as the answers hadn’t crystalized in my mind as I thought they might.

My father’s death has been so central to who I am and how I approach my life.

Today, I am finally ready to talk and I’m sharing my thoughts over on Tonya’s blog, Letters for Lucas.

Please come visit me there and spend some time getting to know Tonya. Her soul is truly lovely.

I will be ever grateful if you share your thoughts and wisdom with us in the comments.


Two become three

This week’s Small Moments Mondays guest poster has inspired me with her tremendous bravery in the face of true heartache. Despite being faced with unspeakable losses, Tonya, from Letters for Lucas, not only continues on, but does so with a grace and beauty that I admire beyond words.

Tonya is quick to offer a shoulder or a laugh and I am so incredibly grateful to call her my friend.

Thank you, Tonya, for being my friend, inspiring me with your words and strength of character, and understanding my ridiculous love for Dave Matthews. You get me. ;)

Two Become Three — by Tonya

My parents both passed away in October 2007 and while this tragic and unexpected event rattled me to the core and certainly derailed me for a while, my husband, Todd and I were still very anxious to start a family of our own.

We had been trying on and off to conceive for six months and it wasn’t happening but we weren’t discouraged yet. In other words, I wasn’t taking my temperature or peeing on an ovulation sticks. We figured it would happen when the time was right.

Low and behold… sometimes, often times, life can change so quickly and most of the time without any warning and the smallest of moments can lead to the greatest of gifts.

On Wednesday, October 8, 2008, almost a year to the date of my parents’ deaths, I discovered I was pregnant with my son Lucas.

I was elated and scared to death all at the same time when I saw the digital word: PREGNANT appear on the EPT stick. In that moment I experienced so many emotions, but most of all, I couldn’t wait to tell Todd.

I started crying tears of joy and sadness. I was in shock and then quickly became very worried.

A baby wasn’t going to replace my mother and father. On one hand, bringing a child into the world would be proof that life goes on with or without a broken heart and on the other, I didn’t want to be so broken hearted that I would end up being a terrible parent.

I will never forget pulling the test out of my purse while sitting in our favorite restaurant, sliding it across the table and my husband asking me if it was still wet!

We had no idea what was in store for us in the eight months that followed. It was a roller coaster ride of fears and doubts and then acceptance and pure excitement.

I did my best to focus on sending love and light to the new life inside me and ended up having the BEST pregnancy.

Todd and I enjoyed every minute of reading What To Expect When You’re Expecting out loud to one another in bed late at night, learning what size fruit our baby resembled. We had fun taking monthly baby bump photos and especially seeing our son to be in ultrasounds. We kept our secret just between us for several months and then were ecstatic to finally share our news with family and friends. We watched my body change and grow and grow and grow, felt our baby kick, put together his crib, registered for shower gifts, tested stroller after stroller, took more parenting classes than I care to admit and made lists of names we liked and could agree upon.

Naming a child is one of the most difficult tasks assigned to parents to be. Do you go with a family name, something utterly unique or keep it traditional? We knew our son’s middle name would be Michael, after my father but we were all over the map when it came to our baby’s first name.

We discussed Benjamin, Fox, Gavin, Carson, Carter and James and finally settled on Lucas. Todd and I met in Cabo San Lucas, so this made perfect sense, once we finally got to it.

Our son’s name was important and the homage to my father very much so, but it would be the amazing little person that carried the names that made this small moment life changing.

It was a wonderful time in our lives, those nine months before two became three and all because of one moment when the universe smiled down on us worked in our favor.

Now that you have read Tonya’s story here, please go read Right on LudingtonBroke Down, and The House that Built Me.

Be sure to go follow her on Twitter and like her on Facebook. She’s an amazing woman and a beautiful writer.

Small Moments Spotlight — Week 3

I’m featuring four more fantastic women in this week’s Small Moments Spotlight. Each of these posts stopped time for me for a bit and shared a glimpse at something lovely and priceless.

Tonya, from Letters for Lucas, captures a moment that we all hold dear…one of those precious memories that we hope we’ll never forget in her post, Three Little Words. This post is beautiful and special but still so universal.

In A Simple Moment, Elizabeth, from The Writer Revived writes about telephone call that brought things into perspective and reframed how she looks at her life. I’ll bet her daughter is so happy that she took that call.

In I don’t wash windows, Crystal, from Surviving and thriving in Mom-dom, mother to four (!) boys, writes about a funny, yet touching moment.  I adore Crystal because she blends strength and beauty and tenderness and practicality so beautifully.

And lastly, I would love to point you towards Alexandria from before the baby wakes. Her post Matter Holds Memory is so lovely. I love this post because she examines all of the small moments that make a house a home and arrives at an important conclusion.

Please go read these lovely posts and leave them each a little note. Each of these women has isolated a small moment, a moment that could have easily slipped by.

If you submitted something this week and I didn’t feature it here, that doesn’t mean that I won’t in the weeks to come.

If you should happen upon a post that captures a small moment, or if you’ve written about one yourself, please use my “contact me” tab (over there on the left under “site links”) and send me the link.

About me

Nichole Beaudry @NicholeBeaudry Location: Northern California
Each and every day, I strive to appreciate the wonder, beauty, and whimsy in the small moments, the moments that, when strung together, form a lifetime.
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