Posted in Infertility

The Ultimate Gift

As a child, I knelt by my bed each night and said my prayers. I can still recall the way my knees felt against the cool floor…the feel of my bedspread beneath my elbows. I prayed for such things as my mother’s health, a kitten, a trip to the playground.

Though I no longer kneel and pray each night, those quiet moments before sleep are still consumed with my hopes and dreams…the health of my family and my desire for another baby envelop me as I drift off.

Last night, as I always do before I finally close my eyes for the night, I reached for my phone one last time to check email.

And there in the quiet darkness of my room, with only the light from my phone, I was left completely speechless.

In my inbox was an email from a dear friend.

And within that email with an unfathomable offer.

My friend’s words read…

I’m certain that I am crossing a line by saying what I’m about to say but then I’ve never been good with boundaries. I’d like to offer you my frozen embryos.

I want you to know that I make the offer without any strings, without any attachment to the future of those embryos.

We have the children we want. And yet we have these babies that we cannot realize … I will not change my opinion of you if you say yes or no. But I want you to know that they (I think there are 6 left) are yours if you want them.

How do you even begin to thank someone for such kindness?

How do I tell her just what that offer means to me? To us?

Because contained in that email was more than an offer of her embryos.

It was a statement about our friendship…about how she feels about me as a mother… about Craig and me as parents…about us as a family.

I can’t even think about her words without crying.

Even if we are successful on our own and never reach the point where we accept her incredibly selfless offer, her generosity alone is a bigger gift than I could have ever dreamed of.

Though this fails miserably to convey my gratitude…

Thank you, my friend.

Thank you for being there for me throughout this journey…for offering me a shoulder on which to cry and for being willing to share with me the ultimate gift.

Thank you for helping me to see that we have options…for renewing my hope in this journey.

Reframed Thoughts, Joy, and a Recap

farmers market tomatoes

These past couple of weeks haven’t been the easiest patch for me.

But, I do realize that I am blessed and that there is joy all around me…I just need to refocus and reframe things a bit.

So, I give you this lovely bowl of tomatoes that we bought at the farmers’ market on Sunday.

Absolute Heaven.

And while you’re here visiting, if you have a few extra moments, here are some of the things that I’ve been Babbling about lately…

I truly appreciate each and every click!

 

25 Perfect Baby Keepsakes

Hollow Words Swirling in My Head: Infertility and Heartache

Buying a Delivery Gown: Smart or Silly?

15 Gorgeous and Comfortable Nursery Chairs

Selective Judgment: Moms Judging other Moms

10 Delicious No-Cook Recipes

20 Non-Pink Inspiration Nurseries

 

 

 

 

 

Defeat

Today’s post is linked up with Write on Edge’s RemembeRED prompt that asked us to…

“…write a story – your choice of topic – as a tweet. That’s right. One hundred and forty characters. Not words. Characters.”

Here’s my offering…

Girl meets boy. Girl falls in love. Girl and boy marry, have baby, then another. Try for one last baby. Try for 14 cycles. Girl is defeated.

And for the good news…

I'm Going to BlogHer '11Well, I just shared the bad news over on Babble, so I’m going to give you some good news over here.

Three weeks from tomorrow, I’ll be boarding a plane for San Diego to attend BlogHer ’11 and I’m growing more excited by the day.

For those of you who are also attending, consider yourself forewarned that I plan to drink all of my wine and yours too.

For those of you who won’t be there, please don’t believe any of the stories you hear about my behavior while I’m there. ;)

I’m going to squeeze every bit of fun out of my time with my friends in San Diego…five days of fun, learning, and wine.

Did I mention wine?

And then I’ll come back home, regroup, and work on getting pregnant. Again.

Natalie, Sherri, Cheryl, Lori, Tonya, and Katie, my lovely BlogHer roommates? Are you ready!?

I can’t wait to see you all!

Ball of Joy and a Recap

What do you get when you combine all of these ingredients in that blue ball and then throw it all around for 20 minutes?

You get this…

Cookies and cream ice cream! Yum!

What brought you joy this week?

And here’s what I was Babbling about this week…

Off We Go: Taking My Mind Off the Two-Week Wait

Destination: Family, with a Little Help from Bill Rancic

Pinterest, My Guilty Pleasure

What If: Infertility and Heartbreak

Rockin’ the Bump: Gorgeous Blogger Baby Bump Photos

You can find my author page on Babble by clicking the Being Pregnant button below or in my sidebar.

Thank you so much for reading!

Your guide to those exciting nine months

 

About me

Nichole Beaudry @NicholeBeaudry Location: Northern California
Each and every day, I strive to appreciate the wonder, beauty, and whimsy in the small moments, the moments that, when strung together, form a lifetime.
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