One of the most challenging parts of dealing with infertility is that it can often feel so isolating.
When Redbook Magazine approached me recently to share a part of my infertility story, I was elated.
Then, I sat in front of the video camera and the words didn’t come as easily as I thought they would.
Writing about my struggle is far easier than sitting before the camera and baring my soul.
I felt vulnerable and emotional.
But when I was done, a feeling of peace washed over me.
Filming this vlog* was one of the most cathartic things I could have done.
I hope that speaking up and sharing my struggle helps other women find the strength to do the same.
Redbook is working to create a community for those who struggle with infertility that will foster open discussion and offer support with “The Truth About Trying,” a program, the first of its kind, designed to address the issue of infertility.
In this campaign, Redbook is partnering with RESOLVE, the National Infertility Association, on a series of honest and vulnerable videos featuring Brenda Strong, National Spokesperson for The American Fertility Association, Padma Lakshmi, Sherri Shepherd, Marissa Jaret Winikour, Rosie Pope, Marc Sedaka, and 50 other real women who open their hearts and tell their own stories of infertility.
Here is my Truth About Trying…
Please don’t miss the special complimentary feature in Redbook’s November issue, on sale October 18th.
I am truly honored to work with Redbook on this project.
Today, October 18th, from 2-3 p.m. EST, Redbook is hosting a Twitter chat about infertility. Please join in if you’re available! The hashtag is #truthabouttrying. You can follow Redbook on Twitter here: http://twitter.com/#!/redbookmag
Infertility shouldn’t be a lonely journey that’s travelled in silence.
If you struggle with infertility, Redbook encourages you to join the infertility conversation by uploading your own video testimonial. You’re invited to post questions, information, and advice to the “Truth About Trying” page on redbookmag.com.
So, you’ve found out you’re pregnant and there’s nothing you’d rather do than tell anyone who will listen.
I’ve been there and I have so done that.
But it’s not that simple when you have a friend who struggles with infertility.
Clearly, you have to tell her, but how?
Well, there are a couple of ways you can handle it.
You can employ either plan a or plan b:
A. Announce to the world you’re pregnant without ever pulling your friend aside to soften the blow. When your friend finds out through word of mouth and sends you a note of congratulations, simply pretend you never got the note and avoid your friend completely and have zero contact with her from that point on.
Yeah, not so nice, huh?
B. Reach out to your friend to share your happy news, knowing that though she is struggling, she will be genuinely happy for you. Share your joy with her and ask her how she’s feeling. Let her talk. Let her congratulate you and trust that she cares enough about you to put her own heartache aside.
I’ve been on the receiving end of both of these methods and for me, plan b was the better option.
My lovely friend Cam reached out to me last week to tell me her happy news before I heard it from someone else. She wanted to blog about it, but thought it important to tell me directly. That kind gesture spoke volumes about our friendship and I’ll be ever grateful that she believed in me enough to invite me to share in her joy in such a sensitive and thoughtful manner.
Avoiding your infertile friends diminishes them. It makes them feel as though you have no faith in them…that you think that their sadness is more important to them than being happy for you.
Trust your friends. Trust that although they are struggling, they love you enough to celebrate your joy.
Because to push them away instead, is to hurt them twice over.