Posted in Gratitude

Shiny and new

Earlier this month, I was whining talking with my friend Cam about how much I wanted my blog to look like hers. It’s clean, well thought out and pretty. So very pretty.

The only problem? Doug Bowman, her brilliant designer, is more than a little busy… you know, with his day job. And being Cam’s husband and father to their two gorgeous girls. You know, stuff like that.

But once I stopped complaining, she said she thought she might be able to convince him to consider it.

continued

Put on your shoes, we’re going to Disneyland!

Tomorrow morning will start like any other morning. We will get the kids up, feed them breakfast and get them dressed. They will brush their teeth and hair and put on their shoes and socks. Then, we will load them into the car.

But, instead of driving to Katie’s school, we will drive to the airport and board a plane for Disneyland for the weekend, where we will celebrate Matthew’s third birthday.

The kids have absolutely no idea that we’re going. And Craig and I are so insanely excited to surprise them. continued

Whole again

Creative Alliance '12

Photo courtesy of Suebob Davis

I’ve written about my father here before.

I’ve shared my grief and my efforts to work through my sadness.

And I worried that you might be growing weary of hearing about it.

So, I stopped writing about him.

I stopped sharing the waves of my sadness and I bottled it up inside, where it became trapped, until two weeks ago, when I stood in front of my peers at Creative Alliance ’12 and read the first substantial piece that I ever wrote about my father.

And I felt freed of a piece of my sadness.

Standing there, giving voice to my grief was cathartic.

Not long ago, I read a quote from On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss that gave me permission to grieve both privately and publicly.

The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.

It was that quote that pushed me to submit my piece the the Listen to Your Mother “Say It” Salon at Creative Alliance ’12.

It helped me to recognize that it’s okay to feel what I’m feeling.

Thank you, Ann Imig, Leane Vandeman and Andrea Fellman for providing a warm and supportive environment for my words.

Thank you to all of the amazing women who sat and listened and smiled and cried with me.

And if I become fearful or trapped or lonely, I will sit quietly and watch this video from Suebob Davis that captures the magic of Creative Alliance ’12.

And I will be grateful.

 

About me

Nichole Beaudry @NicholeBeaudry Location: Northern California
Each and every day, I strive to appreciate the wonder, beauty, and whimsy in the small moments, the moments that, when strung together, form a lifetime.
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