Posted in Family

Tucked Away

With piles of Katie’s clothes all around me, and my Aunt Peggy sitting across from me on the floor, I lifted one tiny, pink item at a time, and shared a precious memory with each.

They were stories of firsts… day at the ocean, Christmas morning, visit from the Easter bunny, journey to Maine, camping trip.

We wouldn’t need those clothes any longer. We had two children…a girl and a boy. Our family was complete.

My cousin has a baby girl, sweet, beautiful Penny, to whom I wanted to give those clothes.  I knew that my cousin would love them as much I had.

I separated a handful of things that I couldn’t part with, the ivory floral dress that Craig chose for her that she wore home from the hospital, the pink and white seersucker outfit that she wore on her first birthday, her first pair of Mary Janes…things that held so much emotion in them that I will forever keep them.

Perhaps one day, I’ll pass them on to Katie, but, probably I won’t.

My aunt patiently listened to all of my stories, she was exactly what I needed for her to be…curator of the love tied up into those clothes. She gently folded each item and we shipped them all back to Maine.

We wouldn’t need them.

Matthew was our last child.

But, somewhere, deep inside, in that place where you tuck things away that you are hesitant to speak of, Craig and I weren’t certain that we were done.

One night in January of this year, over a quiet dinner, Craig and I admitted to one another that we’d like to have just one more baby…that we still have enough love in our hearts to welcome one more child into our family.

So, we’ve taken a detour. A happy, unexpected detour.

We are hoping for just one more baby.

Boy or girl, the next baby will be wearing Matthew’s clothes, because we gave nearly all of Katie’s away.

And if you have any baby dust to spare, we could really use it.

Just what we need…

Craig emailed me today with the best news I’ve heard in a while…news I really needed.

We’re off to Lake Tahoe for three days later this month.  I’ve been dying to go since I wrote about all that it seems that our kids are missing out on.

We haven’t made the trip to the snow since I was pregnant with Matthew and Katie wasn’t yet three years old.

We’ll play in the snow for a couple of days and we’ll spend a day taking turns visiting the spa.

It’s been too long since we’ve gotten away as a family and I am counting the moments until we leave.

This will be Matthew’s first trip to the snow and I can’t wait to see his face. Katie says she remembers it, but I’m not sure if perhaps she is just remembering the photos of it. Either way, she’s excited.

We so need this.

These photos are from our last trip to the snow…

Full disclosure

Okay, if I’m completely honest, I have to tell you that my weekend away with the girls completely wore me out.

I had more amazing conversations at lunch than I can count (I’ll be back later this week to tell you all about them!).

Cheryl kept me up all Saturday night talking. It was as though we were sixteen again, giggling and plotting world domination until nearly two in the morning.

Lori made me laugh so hard the next morning that I almost peed my pants (you know what I’m talking about Lori–your story of new, unlikely, and ridiculous career paths.)

But, I’m not 25 anymore (sigh), so I’m beyond exhausted.

Instead of continuing on (ad nauseum) about just how tired I am, I’m going to point you toward some words that I wrote when I did have some energy, words that I shared with my lovely friend Allison, who was there for me when I needed a hand to hold. She has visited me here, with a Small Moments Mondays post entitled Pushing and Pulling, and today I’m repaying the favor.

I would be thrilled if it you visited me over there and left me some sugar (0kay, I must be tired, I just asked for some sugar!).

Here’s my post: A Simple Thing.

Thank you for letting me catch my breath.

I’ll be back to my regular programming on Wednesday!

Much love…

About me

Nichole Beaudry @NicholeBeaudry Location: Northern California
Each and every day, I strive to appreciate the wonder, beauty, and whimsy in the small moments, the moments that, when strung together, form a lifetime.
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