Posted in Baby

Sixteen Random Thoughts From the Past Six Days

1.  There are many kind people in this world.

2.  Katie has astonishingly bad morning breath.

3.  Sharing a hotel bed with a three-year-old child is equal parts bad idea and effective means of torture.

4.  You can, in fact, get sick of eating out.

5.  Katie has consumed a steady supply of high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oil over the past six days.

6.  I don’t handle death well.

7.  You probably can’t run out of tears. I’ve tested this out this week.

8.  Three cups of coffee each morning is my new minimum.

9.  Babies don’t always smell good.

10.  Craig and I need a will.

11.  Never travel without nail clippers when you have children.

12.  Always overpack.

13.  I am eternally grateful that my grandmother insisted that she teach me how to wash my panties in the sink.

14.  I’m not young anymore.

15.  Pack way more diapers than you think you could possibly use.

16.  Hotels are the perfect place for Play Doh.

Gender Disappointment, Unanswered Prayers, and Getting Lost

Today I looked at my sweet boy and I realized that there is simply no way to express just happy he has made me.  He is sweet, he is soft, and he is incredibly affectionate.  I cannot believe how lucky I am to have him and to be the mother of this baby boy.

I haven’t always felt this way.

When we had our nuchal translucency test at twelve weeks pregnant, the sonographer was certain that we were having a boy.  I remember feeling as though she had punched me in the stomach.  {I had honestly never even contemplated having a boy.}  I was choked up, but managed to hold it together until I was safely in the hallway with my husband, at which point I completely fell apart.  I had just been told that we were having a healthy child and I was crying like a lunatic because that healthy child was a boy.*

Then I remembered reading that those early ultrasounds were unreliable, and we couldn’t possibly know for sure what we were having until we were eighteen weeks along, at the earliest.  I told myself that if the baby was, in fact a boy, we would, of course, accept him and love him.

A friend of mine, when her child is pouting or having a tantrum over something, says, “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”  This is the mindset I had, I reminded myself to be grateful, but it the back of my mind, I prayed that we would learn that we were having a girl afterall.

Then, at the eighteen week ultrasound, the sonographer showed us the irrefutable proof that we were having a son.  There was no doubt. 

As I was coming to grips with the idea of having a boy and grieving the fact that we weren’t having another girl, I told myself that we would have to try for another baby.  I felt as though I wouldn’t be complete until I had another daughter.

Then, after a long pregnancy and many difficult months after his birth, I grew to love this little boy every bit as much as I love his sister.  This didn’t surprise me, as I never questioned whether or not I would love him.  I had just always questioned whether he would be enough.  Day by day, the love I feel for him has grown to a point where I shudder at the idea that I was ever disappointed. 

In the About section of this blog, I described my love for my children this way:  “Katie is everything I always knew that I needed and Matthew is exactly what I always needed, without knowing that I needed it.”  I couldn’t have known how my heart would swell at the thought of him.  

There is a part of Garth Brooks’ song, “Unanswered Prayers” that speaks beautifully to the way I feel now.  He sings:

     Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
     Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs
     That just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care
     Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.

This is exactly what Matthew is–one of my greatest gifts.  I could have never imagined just how much I needed him and how much he would fill a spot inside of me that I didn’t realize was empty.

When I was young, my mother used to say that the best part of going on a road trip was getting lost.  She said that when you stray from your route, you see and experience amazing things that you hadn’t planned for.  She couldn’t have been more correct. Though Matthew wasn’t on the route that I had mapped out for us, he has proven to be the most amazing of surprises.

Would I trade him for a girl? Not in a million years.

We never lost sight of just how fortunate we were to be having a healthy baby.  We miscarried a child just three months prior to getting pregnant for Matthew and we were so incredibly grateful to be given another chance.

Taking a Closer Look…How Safe are your Baby Products?

From the moment we found out that I was pregnant with Katie, I became obsessed with researching the ways in which I could give her the best possible start in life.

One of the most helpful resources I found in those early days was Skin Deep, an amazing database that ranks the safety of cosmetics and personal care products in the following categories: skin care, makeup, hair care, nails, eye care, feminine hygiene, dental and oral hygiene, and fragrances.  One of their main goals is to provide information to protect children, babies, and infants in the womb from harmful toxins.

The Skin Deep database,  put forth by the Environmental Working Group, utilizes an easy to understand traffic light system that helps you to rather quickly learn whether a product is safe, if you should use it with caution, or if you should avoid it completely.

In those early days, I had visions of Katie fresh from the bath, with that familiar Johnson & Johnson scent.

A quick search of the Skin Deep database for Johnson & Johnson’s Baby Head to Toe Baby Wash was shocking.  Skin Deep gave it a yellow light, with a ranking of 4, which they call a moderate hazard, since the fragrance used raises neurotoxicity and allergies/immunotoxicity concerns.  Yeah, no thanks.

The point?  I would have trusted that Johnson & Johnson Baby Wash would be a safe choice for my baby.  The simple bottle leads you to believe that it is gentle, formulated for babies, and completely safe.  We ended up choosing California Baby products for our kids, but there are many other safe choices.

Grab your products and visit the Skin Deep database and see how they’re rated–you might be as surprised as I was.

I’d love to hear about any surprises or confirmations you come across if you’d like to leave a comment.

About me

Nichole Beaudry @NicholeBeaudry Location: Northern California
Each and every day, I strive to appreciate the wonder, beauty, and whimsy in the small moments, the moments that, when strung together, form a lifetime.
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