A Controlling Personality, a Patient Husband, Some Infertility, and a Microscope

July 2, 2010 by Nichole Clomid · infertility30 comments

As soon as Craig and I were married, I scheduled an OB appointment and made an action plan for getting pregnant. I didn’t want to waste a single month and just going with the flow is SO not the way I handle things. I bought a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler and read it through a million times. (I can’t recommend this book strongly enough.) I took my temperature every morning for months and charted it religiously with Fertility Friend. I knew exactly when I ovulated. I told myself that like anything else I had done in my life, if I wanted it badly enough, if I worked at it diligently, I could make it happen.… Continued

All that we have: An anniversary letter

August 23, 2012 by Nichole anniversary · Craig13 comments

Dear Craig, As I write this, I’m sitting in my hotel bed, 400 miles away from you. And in just less than an hour, it will be our anniversary. But I am here and you are there. And as much as it pains me to be away from you, I am here because of your endless, unwavering support, because you always encourage me to enjoy every amazing experience that comes my way.… Continued

The end of the world as we know it

August 9, 2012 by Nichole double doodle · getting a new puppy25 comments

So you know that feeling when life has finally fallen into a comfortable groove? When you have a schedule, a sense of predictability and relative calm? There’s only one cure for that. Get a puppy. Perhaps this is the first step on our journey to accepting that our prayers for another baby will go unanswered. The idea of bringing another warm, cozy creature to love into our home has brought us to the decision to turn our life upside down.… Continued

The familiar nudge of contentment…

July 22, 2012 by Nichole gratitude · heartbreak14 comments

The first nudge came on Friday, as I stood between the rows of grapevines, just dripping with the juicy, green grapes of this year’s harvest. As my friend Lisa so generously took some new headshots for me there in the golden sunshine, I felt something familiar. Yesterday–the first full day that my family has been together in nearly two weeks–that feeling gently pushed at me, softly whispering, “hey…remember me?” Last night, as we sat on an expanse of freshly cut grass, watching our local minor league baseball team play, I held Matthew in my arms and watched Craig with Katie, explaining the game to her and it tugged at me with a bit more force.… Continued

Right before my eyes

April 24, 2012 by Nichole childhood · gratitude27 comments

The past sixteen months of my life have been lived in two-week increments. Infertility does that to you. It robs you of the present and leaves you wishing away weeks of your life, placing all of your hope on something that might never be. The past several months have been particularly painful. Time is slipping through our fingers and I have felt us running out of time.… Continued

Dusting off the cobwebs

April 3, 2012 by Nichole blogging · freelance writing13 comments

Okay, if you’ll excuse me for a minute, I’ll dust off these cobwebs. Ahem. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind and I’ve missed all of you and this little space of mine. What have we been doing? Well, I’ve been happily writing my tail off over at SheKnows and I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful I am to be a part of that amazing team.… Continued

All That We Have: 2011 in Review

January 1, 2012 by Nichole childhood · gratitude18 comments

The last year presented some challenges for our family, but as we closed out the year, we realized that what matters most is all that we already have. Because this right here? This life we’ve built together? It’s a dream come true… [Show picture list] jQuery('#ngg-slideshow-228b227f4bd8dae14c8dd129342fa787-17591200150-image-list').hide().removeClass('ngg-slideshow-nojs'); jQuery(function($) { jQuery('#ngg-slideshow-228b227f4bd8dae14c8dd129342fa787-17591200150').nggShowSlideshow({ id: '228b227f4bd8dae14c8dd129342fa787', fx: 'fade', width: 590, height: 392, domain: 'http://inthesesmallmoments.com/', timeout: 5000 }); });… Continued

Sixty Seconds

November 28, 2011 by Nichole infertility · letter to Matthew22 comments

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. –Ralph Waldo Emerson I wasted enough seconds today with sadness and anger…moments when I should have been looking at Matthew’s eyelashes, playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with Katie, or holding Craig’s hand. Tomorrow, just happiness.… Continued

Can I Get Some Tylenol, Please?

November 9, 2011 by Nichole Clomid · infertility31 comments

Phew…it’s been a long five days. Long. Super long. Excruciatingly long. But, I finally took the last of the Clomid this morning. Curious about how it went? What were the side effects? Did I bring bodily harm to anyone? Cry a lot? Here’s the play by play… Day One 7:00 am Take Clomid. 11:00 am Smile smugly, telling myself that Clomid is no match for me.… Continued

Gulp

November 5, 2011 by Nichole Clomid · infertility23 comments

Today is day one of our first Clomid cycle. It has been over five years since I’ve taken Clomid and my memories of the experience are not positive. At all. The memories of the sweating, bloating, crabbiness, and did I mention sweating (?) have me filled with dread. But, if we are able to get pregnant, of course it will all be worth it.… Continued

Results for infertility