Lack of control.
Three things that leave me spiraling.
And yesterday, I was faced with all three.
As of the end of this month, my job with AllParenting will no longer exist.
There is no longer a need for my position.
When I heard the news, I was relatively calm.
My brain understood immediately.
But later, when my ever inconvenient heart got involved and disbelief kicked in, I dissolved into sadness*.
It’s funny how you can love something and be so invested in it and then suddenly, it’s just over.
I’ve been with AllParenting since its beginning. Since we were all hired on to help shape and give voice to an entire site.
Over the past eighteen months, I have lived and breathed the site. I’ve had the amazing opportunity to work with a team of writers who blow me away every day with their enthusiasm, work ethic and creativity.
Over the past several months, I’ve felt growing pains… the tremendous need to spend more time with my family… with my friends… with my camera.
But I’m not sure I was ready yet. Or maybe I was and was stuck. (Please see lack of control, change and endings, referenced above.)
Either way, the time has come. And I will face it with grace. Or at least that’s my plan.
I will stay on at AllParenting as a freelance writer and I’m ever grateful for that opportunity. I’m so proud of the site and all that we’ve accomplished there.
And I will be okay. My heart will heal and logic will take over.
But until then, I’ll lick my wounds a bit.
And if you happen to know of anyone who needs a loyal, driven, grateful editor, I know just the person.
*To those of you who have messaged, emailed, called, texted and hugged me over the past 36 hours, I am so incredibly grateful for each you. Your kind words enveloped my heart like bubble wrap.