What I didn’t know…

I knew I would love him.

I knew that, like his sister before him, he would make my heart swell.

I knew that I would do absolutely anything for him.

But what I didn’t know and could have never even imagined, is that one glance at him would make my chest constrict.

I didn’t know that I would one day shudder at the thought that I could have missed out on this love.

I didn’t know that I would spend every single remaining day of my life being grateful that I was gifted with a boy…this boy.

When I was a young girl, my grandmother encouraged me to be careful what I prayed for because often, we can’t possibly know what joys lie beyond of our specific prayers.

And I’m so grateful that all of those prayers for a second girl fell on deaf ears.

Because this boy has brought me joy that I could have never imagined.

My life is ever changed by my sweet Matthew.

16 comments

  1. vjwrites

    beautiful…

  2. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    Thank you, Vanessa. So very much. xoxo

  3. Sherri

    Sigh…those boys? Killers, I tell ya.

  4. Laura anuncommonfamily.com

    I know the feeling. Beautiful. <3

  5. What a sweet picture! I felt the same way when my second was a boy instead of a girl. <3

  6. Cortney tastybutteredtoast.com

    Speaking from first hand experience at being a boy, we are a pretty cool lot, this much I know for sure.

  7. wantapeanutblog

    So sweet. I love having a boy and a girl, though I also wanted two girls :)

  8. Katie sluiternation.com

    Boys do that. They snuggle up into your heart and stay there.

  9. John daddyrunsalot.com

    Awwwww.

  10. angela angelaamman.com

    I KNEW I was going to be a mom of girls. I am so glad, every day, that I was wrong.

  11. Tonya lettersforlucas.com

    Your love for Matthew comes shining through in every single word of this beautiful post. Here's to our precious boys.

  12. Susan Cooper

    Awww. What a beautiful sentiment. As a daughter has a special bond with her so does a mother and her son. :)

  13. julie gardner juliecgardner.com

    I know in my heart (or at least firmly believe) that we by nature love what we're given; that we end up unable to imagine anything different.

    Right? I mean it stands to reason that my friend with three girls is just as in love with her children as my friend with two boys. As much as I love my son and daughter.

    And yet.

    I can't help thinking that one of each is pretty damn special.
    (OF course, I'm biased. But still.)

    Or rather BE still my beating heart.

  14. I'm so happy that I had a boy.
    I think I was destined to be a boy mom…and that is ok by me.

  15. jaimesstory

    So true. I was the same. Wanted a second girl, and now I wonder why I ever thought that. Those boys definitely work some special magic.

  16. Lindsey adesignsovast.com

    I feel the same way about my son, who is my second child, after a daughter. I had a sister, and so imagined I'd have two girls, and often do feel wistful that Grace won't have a sister. But then I look at this little boy and am simply blown away at all I did not realize, about mothering him. She and I have an intense, close bond, striated with all the ways we are similar. He and I have a much simpler relationship, probably because there is less identification. I simply adore him. xox

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