What I didn’t know…

I knew I would love him.

I knew that, like his sister before him, he would make my heart swell.

I knew that I would do absolutely anything for him.

But what I didn’t know and could have never even imagined, is that one glance at him would make my chest constrict.

I didn’t know that I would one day shudder at the thought that I could have missed out on this love.

I didn’t know that I would spend every single remaining day of my life being grateful that I was gifted with a boy…this boy.

When I was a young girl, my grandmother encouraged me to be careful what I prayed for because often, we can’t possibly know what joys lie beyond of our specific prayers.

And I’m so grateful that all of those prayers for a second girl fell on deaf ears.

Because this boy has brought me joy that I could have never imagined.

My life is ever changed by my sweet Matthew.


  1. vjwrites


  2. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    Thank you, Vanessa. So very much. xoxo

  3. Sherri

    Sigh…those boys? Killers, I tell ya.

  4. Laura anuncommonfamily.com

    I know the feeling. Beautiful. <3

  5. What a sweet picture! I felt the same way when my second was a boy instead of a girl. <3

  6. Cortney tastybutteredtoast.com

    Speaking from first hand experience at being a boy, we are a pretty cool lot, this much I know for sure.

  7. wantapeanutblog

    So sweet. I love having a boy and a girl, though I also wanted two girls :)

  8. Katie sluiternation.com

    Boys do that. They snuggle up into your heart and stay there.

  9. John daddyrunsalot.com


  10. angela angelaamman.com

    I KNEW I was going to be a mom of girls. I am so glad, every day, that I was wrong.

  11. Tonya lettersforlucas.com

    Your love for Matthew comes shining through in every single word of this beautiful post. Here's to our precious boys.

  12. Susan Cooper

    Awww. What a beautiful sentiment. As a daughter has a special bond with her so does a mother and her son. :)

  13. julie gardner juliecgardner.com

    I know in my heart (or at least firmly believe) that we by nature love what we're given; that we end up unable to imagine anything different.

    Right? I mean it stands to reason that my friend with three girls is just as in love with her children as my friend with two boys. As much as I love my son and daughter.

    And yet.

    I can't help thinking that one of each is pretty damn special.
    (OF course, I'm biased. But still.)

    Or rather BE still my beating heart.

  14. I'm so happy that I had a boy.
    I think I was destined to be a boy mom…and that is ok by me.

  15. jaimesstory

    So true. I was the same. Wanted a second girl, and now I wonder why I ever thought that. Those boys definitely work some special magic.

  16. Lindsey adesignsovast.com

    I feel the same way about my son, who is my second child, after a daughter. I had a sister, and so imagined I'd have two girls, and often do feel wistful that Grace won't have a sister. But then I look at this little boy and am simply blown away at all I did not realize, about mothering him. She and I have an intense, close bond, striated with all the ways we are similar. He and I have a much simpler relationship, probably because there is less identification. I simply adore him. xox

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