The past sixteen months of my life have been lived in two-week increments.
Infertility does that to you. It robs you of the present and leaves you wishing away weeks of your life, placing all of your hope on something that might never be.
The past several months have been particularly painful. Time is slipping through our fingers and I have felt us running out of time.
But, life has a funny way of handing you something when you truly need it.
I recently sat down to create a printed book of photos.
And as I sifted through our nearly 17,000 (!) photos, I could almost feel Katie’s tiny baby hands in my own…
Those toes…oh those toes.
She smelled like sugar and somehow she felt simultaneously light and heavy in my arms.
Though I often think about her infancy, it’s more as a whole. How she nursed, drooled, and wooed me with her smile. As I looked through the photos, the small details came rushing back.
Her skin was so creamy and soft and those rosy cheeks simply required constant kissing.
When I came upon these photos of her first camping trip, I smiled at the thought that, at one year old, this was the first time I let her get dirty and she loved every single filthy second of it.
These beads were her favorite accessory for weeks, yet somehow I forgot about them until I saw this photo.
Katie’s hair now reaches all the way down her back. This picture of her teeny ponytails still melts my heart.
I had forgotten about this day in my bathroom when she came in to show me her tutu and slipper ensemble.
By this time, I was pregnant with Matthew. I remember thinking that Katie was such a big girl then, but when I look at these photos, all I see is baby.
And then, this angel entered our lives, bringing with him a joy beyond my wildest dreams…
There are a handful of photos that transport me back completely. I love this one of Katie running and squealing.
Oh…the snow. And the joy.
These two children have shown me happiness that I could have never imagined.
They are everything…they are what matters.