Mommy, are you scared? My Listen to Your Mother experience

Listen to your motherSaturday was a whirlwind that began with a handful of questions from Katie as I was applying my makeup…

Where are you going, Mommy?

I’m meeting up with Sherri* and going to the city, Katie.

What are you going you do there?

Well, I’m going to read some of my work to two nice ladies who are putting on a show called Listen to Your Mother.

Why, Mommy?

Because they are giving mommies like me a chance to read their stories today and perhaps again in a few months in front of a big group of people.

Like Disney on Ice?

Well kind of, but not quite, Katie.

But why are you doing it?

(Long pause.)

Well, for many reasons. I wrote a piece that I want to share with them, I want to try something that will help me to be a better person, and I want to know that I challenged myself.

What did you write about? Is it about me?

I wrote about a time when you were very little, before Matthew came along, when you saved Mommy and Daddy during a sad time. I wrote about how grateful I am for you.

Do you have to go?

No. I suppose I don’t. But in a way, I kind of do. If I don’t try it, I will never know what could have happened. Sometimes the biggest joys come from doing things you didn’t think you could do, Katie.

Mommy, are you scared?

Yes, Katie. Very.

You can do it, Mommy. Just do your best job.

And I did.

With her words in my head, I did.

I entered the small, comfortable room and was greeted my two women whose kind faces told me that my words were in good hands.

I sat and quietly read my words and shared my pain.

And some part of me healed.

I will be there for the show in May, whether it’s on stage or in the audience.

Because there are so many beautiful, sad, funny, and breathtaking stories to be shared.

What a remarkable thing to have been a part of.

And I hope that one day, when Katie is scared to do something, she remembers that day when I tried something that terrified me, and it brings her courage.

*Thank you, Sherri, for the extra push I needed to audition. Without your encouragement and ability to talk me off the ledge, I likely wouldn’t have auditioned. Thank you for helping me to look brave for Katie. You are such a lovely friend.

25 comments

  1. Wow…just wow! SO sorry for your loss and how awesome that you challenged yourself and shared this at auditions.

  2. Jaime ainsleylynn.blogspot.com

    Good for you! That post, was the first one I read the first time I visited you here. I had been through a miscarriage earlier that year and knew the feeling of moving on for another child. Bravo, Nicole! I need to be better at doing things that scare me.

  3. tayarra rtrsharpfamily.blogspot.com

    That brought tears to my eyes. She is already so insightful. You've inspired me once again to lead by example. Can't wait to hear more.

  4. Alison l MWT mamawantsthis.com

    Good luck, I hope you get picked because your words are beautiful. You're a wonderful role model for Katie, truly.

  5. Ann annsrants.com

    Love this. So honored. Thank you very very much.

    Listen To Your Mother On Ice coming soon!

  6. Sherri

    I am so very happy that you did this…and the look on your face when you came out of your audition was worth it all…confident, relaxed. So very proud if you!

  7. Peggy

    I'm a little teary eyed reading this. I'm proud of you. You are setting such a good example for your kids. I loved how Katie repeated words that I'm sure she has heard from you "You can do it. Just do your best job".

  8. mosey (kim) moseyalong.blogspot.com

    This gave me chills. I'm still awed and inspired by the day. THANK you for sharing yourself with us!

  9. TheKirCorner

    I think you prove over and over again how amazing you are. thank you for sharing this, so proud of you for reading. :)

  10. angela angelaamman.com

    I am so happy for you that you went out of your comfort zone to do this, Nichole. You are such a role model to Katie in both words and actions.

  11. Melisa suburbanscrawl.com

    What a beautiful post!! My Chicago co-producer and I held auditions yesterday and were blown away by the honesty and vulnerability that people brought to us. We are humbled by this experience. I'm glad you auditioned. Good luck!

  12. TheNextMartha

    Nicole if anyone can bring emotions with words, it's you. I have no doubt that your words made an impact. I'm glad you went for it.

  13. Your writing is absolutely beautiful. I love how you explained your need to go to the audition to your daughter. It's right on.

    We had auditions in Chicago yesterday and, while I'm usually very comfortable speaking in front of people, reading about the vulnerability of motherhood was a very different experience and tapped into nerves I've never had before. But so worth the experience!

    I'm sure you were wonderful! Good luck –

  14. Kimberly mamasmonologues.com

    I am sure your beautiful words made an impact. You are brave, strong, and a wonderful role model to your children.

  15. Cameron camerondgarriepy.com

    Like daughter, like mother, that girl. Well done, both of you.

  16. Jessica mytimeasmom.com

    So proud of you for auditioning.

  17. anymommy anymommyoutthere.com

    I'm so glad you did it! And I'm so glad you have her.

  18. Tears.
    Just tears.
    She reminds me so much of my boy. Yesterday he held my hand and told me to be strong when I was getting my blood drawn. I think this shows what a fantastic mom you are, in that you encourage her and instill confidence.
    I'm so proud of you!!!! And congrats on the audition!!! Yay you!!!

  19. I am so proud of you, my friend. And Sherri, well, what's not to love.
    Also, from your tales, Katie has become one of my favorite little people. I sure hope I have the honor of meeting her one day.

  20. Elena ciaomom.com

    I can only imagine how powerful your words were when you read them– and what a perfect moment to have shared with Katie–having her see you as a role model for pushing past your comfort zone. xo

  21. @elissapr twitter.com/elissapr

    I echo all the comments above…but also? I really really really hope you make it!!

  22. twertman

    So very proud of you for this mommy moment and your audition! :)

  23. Jennie B

    I wish I could have heard it! Hope I will in May (and maybe will be reading with you). Either way, this is lovely as usual.

  24. Christine

    This post made me cry. I'm so happy for you. Whatever happens, you have already succeeded, just by doing it. That said, I auditioned here in NYC and I really hope we are both ONstage on our respective coasts sharing a parallel experience. Good luck!

  25. Leigh Ann genieinablog.com

    I can't wait to see if you made it, but either way, you took a huge leap. It's hard for us writers to get up and read something, much less to a crowd. Aren't we all more comfortable sharing our words from behind the comfort of our computers? best of luck to you, Nichole.

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