The Truth About Trying: Sharing My Story with Redbook

One of the most challenging parts of dealing with infertility is that it can often feel so isolating.

When Redbook Magazine approached me recently to share a part of my infertility story, I was elated.

Then, I sat in front of the video camera and the words didn’t come as easily as I thought they would.

Writing about my struggle is far easier than sitting before the camera and baring my soul.

I felt vulnerable and emotional.

But when I was done, a feeling of peace washed over me.

Filming this vlog* was one of the most cathartic things I could have done.

I hope that speaking up and sharing my struggle helps other women find the strength to do the same.

Redbook is working to create a community for those who struggle with infertility that will foster open discussion and offer support with “The Truth About Trying,” a program, the first of its kind, designed to address the issue of infertility.

In this campaign, Redbook is partnering with RESOLVE, the National Infertility Association, on a series of honest and vulnerable videos featuring Brenda Strong, National Spokesperson for The American Fertility Association, Padma Lakshmi, Sherri Shepherd, Marissa Jaret Winikour, Rosie Pope, Marc Sedaka, and 50 other real women who open their hearts and tell their own stories of infertility.

Here is my Truth About Trying…

Please don’t miss the special complimentary feature in Redbook’s November issue, on sale October 18th.

I am truly honored to work with Redbook on this project.

Today, October 18th, from 2-3 p.m. EST, Redbook is hosting a Twitter chat about infertility. Please join in if you’re available! The hashtag is #truthabouttrying. You can follow Redbook on Twitter here:!/redbookmag

Infertility shouldn’t be a lonely journey that’s travelled in silence.

If you struggle with infertility, Redbook encourages you to join the infertility conversation by uploading your own video testimonial. You’re invited to post questions, information, and advice to the “Truth About Trying” page on

Check out some the amazing infertility bloggers on Redbook’s infertility blog roll.

And tell your story.

Let’s share our truth about trying.

*A special thank you to my friend Jessica, from My Time As Mom, who edited my video for me and encouraged me along the way.


  1. I hope and pray so much for you that you will get the desire of your heart. That you will know the joy of holding that longed for third baby in your arms, against your heart. That your dream of being a family of five will happen for you.

  2. Alison@Mama Wants This

    You're so brave for sharing your story, for speaking up, for baring your soul.

    I am thinking of you and the baby you so long for, sending love your way. xo

  3. Jessica D Torres

    I know this was a difficult video for you to record but I'm proud of you for doing it and for being part of this campaign. I hope that you won't have to struggle with infertility in the future. Hugs to you.

  4. Kimberly

    I agree with Alison. You're so brave and strong for not only sharing, but for helping others in their journey as well.

    Sending you lots of love and hugs. Remember, when, not if. xo

  5. Gigi

    You know how much I am pulling for you and Craig. Keep your heart and mind open…I know there are more good things to come for your family. Bravo to you for helping women find their voice on this. Xoxo.

  6. Tracie

    You are brave and beautiful and amazing and strong.

    I'm sending love your way.

  7. tracy@sellabitmum

    You are so strong and amazing. Hugs my friend. xo

  8. Lara

    I totally understand the the ups and downs you been through. Its a tough journey but its worth it in the end. Once God blesses you with his love, things will fall into place. God Bless and stay strong!

  9. Hugs and love your way. I think it is really important for others to get your message.

  10. Oh Nichole, sending so much love to you. Thank you for sharing your voice and helping others see they're not alone. I hope so much for you that this struggle brings you something beautiful very soon.

  11. Elaine

    You're so courageous to talk about this and to post a video of yourself pouring your heart out. I'm so very sorry you're going through this, Nichole. Wishing I could give you a huge hug…. xo

  12. Alex@LateEnough

    The video is perfect. Thanks for telling your story.

  13. Beautifully done.

  14. Rachel

    I love you. You are amazing. AND? You did an AWESOME job on your vlog!!! You are a natural!

  15. Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson

    Nichole! I think you are so brave because you know that you are opening yourself up to scrutiny. To all those people who will say, "Oh, she says she's grateful but…" I'm so proud of you for not shying away from writing about your personal truth.

    After I learned I could only have one, I did not have the same longing you had. But then, I had a terrible, traumatic delivery. I still remember my hideous delivery — bleeding out, landing in the ICU, my baby in the NICU, going home with a personal care aide… not being able to walk or get the baby or anything for 3 months! All these years later, I honestly don't think I was built for more than one child, so I have made my peace.

    It pains me to see you so wanting another child. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you, and I hope that this struggle brings you what you want — but I don't want to see you consumed by the thing might never have. I really hope you are able to find peace as you go through this difficult time.

  16. Alena

    I think and pray for you so much!!

  17. You bring me to tears. (((hugs!))) Thank you for describing, so eloquently, what secondary infertility feels like. You're awesome!

  18. Susan

    Wow, love that Redbook and Resolve are doing this! I’ve been struggling with turning 42 and not having children after over 11 years of trying everything and anything to conceive. I am still dealing with the fact I likely will never have a child even though all of my treatments looked encouraging.

    Infertility can be so isolating, I still find myself crying over the strangest things. (Books I’ll never get to read to my child, a cute outfit I bought years ago that will never be worn, etc.) I’m glad that you are able to get your story out to others. Hugs!

  19. Robin

    Good for you, Nichole. I'm so glad it was cathartic.

  20. Krista

    I so admire your strength and your rawness, Nichole. That vlog was perfectly done, perfectly you.

  21. Devan McGuinness

    Sending you love friend.

  22. Mad Woman behind the Blog

    Oh Nichole. You did a great job with your vlog. You know I love you and admire you for your heart, your willpower, your honesty.

  23. Elena

    This was a great vlog, Nichole. Secondary infertility is just as tough as primary infertility. I agree – it's something you wouldn't have realized, or even thought, before kids but it's so very true.

  24. John

    I just want to reach through the screen & give you a great big hug.

  25. Lyndsey

    Great job Nichole! I know you will help many women out there have a voice and feel like they are part of a group instead of feeling alone.

  26. Nichole, your bravery will help someone to know they are not alone, that they are not "wrong" to want another, that what they experience is normal. I hope you are very proud of yourself for this. You should be!

  27. Trisha

    I dont know you but our stories are the same. You are so brave to open up in the way youdid on your video…so true, so vulnerable. Thank you for speaking out. Best wishes to you as you seek your hearts desire for a family of five! (HUGS)

  28. BalancingMama

    I am so proud of you. May your wishes come true… whenever they are ready. Hugs!

  29. Kris Mulkey

    Nichole, I can't imagine dealing with this everyday. We struggled for 10 years and eventually gave up and adopted instead. We have the most wonderful daughter on the planet. I truly believe she was the reason I couldn't get pregnant. She was meant to be our daughter. I hope it all works out for you. But please know, there are wonderful options.

  30. @ksluiter

    So proud of you. You are an inspiration to me.

  31. Nichole! You are so cute I can't even take it! My heart goes out to you and your family while dealing with this problem. I can only imagine how painful it must be to want something so much. Love you and my heart is with you and your hubby. P.S. You were so great on video, adorable.

  32. Sherri

    I am so very proud of you for this. I know how hard this was for you to put into words, let alone on a vlog for all to see. But your strength, your honesty, and the gut-wrenching feeling that you put into this has to help others who are struggling with the same thing.

    Much love to you, and my fingers are crossed for you on your continued journey.


  33. Courtney

    I hate that it is infertility that brought you to this point, but what an honor to be given the chance to share your story and encourage others in your position. Proud of you!

  34. Missy | Literal Mom

    Wow. Wow. I am humbled by you. I think you're so brave.

  35. you are so full of truth & courage. I hope so much for that baby for your family. And soon.

  36. Mama Mary

    I am proud of you for filming this vlog and being so real and honest. Sending you good thoughts for that third baby, as well as strength & light to deal with whatever the outcome may be. xo

  37. Jessica

    What an honor to be able to share your story and you do so so eloquently. I know how good it feels to be heard and I'm glad that it is happening for you.

  38. Nichole on video or in print you continue to move us. Thank you for sharing.

  39. Mama Hear Me Roar

    You are so courageous and honest. Sending you all my hopes and prayers as you continue your journey.

  40. Christine

    I'm SO glad you hit that very important point. That wanting more (of anything!) doesn't mean you're not grateful for everything you have. I feel that is so important. Wishing you so much luck. You are the perfect person to be a part of this project with Redbook.

  41. Jennie B

    You are a brave, strong, wonderful woman. Thinking of you as always, and congrats on the opportunity, even though it is difficult topic.

  42. Thanks for continuing to share your story and spread the word on infertility. My husband and I are exerperiencing it, trying for our first and it's just heartbreaking. I think awareness needs to be raised, and I appreicate you speaking out. Best wishes to you.

  43. Suz

    Oh Nichole, I wish I'd seen this sooner & been able to participate in that twitter party. Thank you for speaking out for me & so many other women about infertility & the heartbreaks it causes. You & your family continue to be in my thoughts & prayers.

  44. How very cool that you participated.

  45. Kristi

    Oh Nichole, what an amazing opportunity for you to share your struggle and your pain with so many women who just might feel like their alone in it all. I'm so proud of you for using your voice and being brave enough to open the innermost, painful part of your heart with others. I desperately hope that you'll be blessed with another baby soon. Hugs, love, prayers and whatever else you need to carry you through this part of your journey… Take care, my sweet friend.

  46. Wow….this is so deeply touching. You are brave for sharing your story and I know so many women can relate. Such a great video :)

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