My cousin Crystal died Saturday morning.
She was 48.
After a brutal battle with breast cancer, she could fight no longer.
The final days of her life were spent in a bedroom with her sister, my cousin, Roxanne, who is also dying.
The doctors say she will likely die before Christmas.
Breast cancer.
Both of my beautiful cousins will die from breast cancer.
I spoke with my aunt at length on the phone today.
She alternated between tremendous strength and overwhelming sadness.
She begged me to be careful. She spoke of breast self exams and mammograms.
We talked of her loss…both of her children.
Both.
Crystal has two children, both in their early 20s, neither of whom have children of their own yet.
As I try to comprehend what they are feeling, I can’t help but think of my own children.
And my aunt’s words echo in my ear…breast self exams and mammograms.
“Vigilent,” she said, “you must be vigilant.”
She spoke of cancer that had reached Crystal’s bones and finally her brain.
I think of my aunt and what she must feel when she’s trying to fall asleep at night.
Both of her children. Taken from her.
We should not outlive our children.
My heart is truly heavy.

So true… we should never outlive our children.
So sorry for your family's loss.
Nichole, I'm so, so sorry for your loss. And for your aunt's tremendous loss. Words are simply not enough.
Oh, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. ((hugs))
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Words are certainly not enough. {hugs}
Oh I am heartbroken. You must heed your Aunt whispers and be vigilant.
I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. There are no words for this.
Oh, Nichole. I am so very sorry.
My heart aches for you, for your aunt, for all those who have lost a loved one to breast cancer.
I will admit right now that I am overdue for an appointment. I have a card reminding me that it's time for my yearly exam tucked away. And I'm getting it immediately and putting it by my computer so I can make the call. First thing in the morning.
There. I just got it. I promise.
So your message reached at least one person tonight.
"We must be vigilant."
Thank you for this reminder even as you grieve. Your cousin's legacy will be in your message.
And in the love around her now.
Around her always.
I am so very sorry for your loss, Nichole. Your family is in my prayers.
My heart aches for your aunt, your family, you. I am so sorry, and will re-educate myself with the link you provided.
I am so sorry for your family's loss. I need to be better about doing self exams. I do go every year for an exam but that is not enough. #cancersucks
This is so heartbreaking. I am truly sorry for you, your family and most of all, your aunt. Prayers coming out.
Oh Nichole, my heart is heavy for you tonight…we cannot even imagine the pain of losing your children to cancer. This was probably hard to write, but important for us to read.
My deepest and heartfelf sense of love and compassion for this family. Will be praying on many levels for peace, no pain, comfort be found. It is good to share this heartache – to know those are out there that really do matter. It helped me immensely to know there were others across the globe lifting me up as I faced a breast cancer diagnosis and treatment at age 39. W 4 young children. praying for a cure.
What a heartbreaking situation. So, so sorry for your family and your loss. Prayers for ALL of you!
I am so sorry for your loss. I send hugs. Please hug you Aunt an extra time, and let her know we are praying for her.
I'm so sorry. Cancer is so horrible and takes so many before it's time. Thinking of you and your family.
I am so, so very sorry for your loss. Your poor Aunt, your entire family 🙁 What an important message you are sharing, but I wish you didn't have to share it 🙁
Oh I am so sorry, what a horrible loss and lesson for all of us. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family at this unimaginable time.
sending you as much love as I can. xo
I am so sorry Nichole.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.
This is such a tragedy and this is why we all need to do our part in educating and fundraising to find cures.
Gentle hugs friend
Xoxo
That's so very difficult.
Hugs.
Oh Nichole I am so sorry for your loss. You, your aunt and your whole family are in my thoughts.
oh Chole. I am so very sorry. We have loads of breast cancer in our family too. and other cancers. being vigilant is a habit.____your family is in my prayers, my friend.
I'm so sorry. You are your family will be in my thoughts.
We must be vigilant. We should not outlive our babies.
I am so sorry for your loss. Two cousins – I can't even fathom the heavy sadness on a family. My best friend's dad (who I have known since I was 4 – I grew up just 5 houses away) died of lung cancer, also Saturday morning. It was only diagnosed the day before – other health complications led to the diagnosis. He'd ignored symptoms for some time. Please be vigilant. Everybody.
I am so sorry for your loss! How horrible!
Cancer makes me sad. All types. All situations. This is just heartbreaking!
I watched my grandmother lose her son to cancer (my dad) just two years ago and I don't know what will kill her seeing that his loss didn't. The pain must be immeasurable. It's not right. And, although everything in life isn't fair it makes me sad that of all things, these situations aren't.
Praying for your family!
I hate cancer. Two of my favorite people in this world were taken by cancer much too soon. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.
Nichole, I'm so sorry to hear this. Thank you for being an advocate and reminding us how important self exams are.
Love to you.
sending much love to you and your family. i am so sorry.
A good friend of mine has breast cancer. She is going into surgery to have a mastectomy this Friday.
I am so scared for her, but just put on a brave face with her, and make jokes like we were still in high school. Jokes about the boob job she is going to get out of this, and the tummy tuck from the reconstructive surgery, and the 8 hour "nap" while in surgery. I laugh and joke with her, then hang up the phone, and cry.
Cancer sucks.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers for your family.
I am praying for your entire family. Thank you for raising awareness.
I am so sorry for your loss. I am thinking about you and your family.
How heartbreaking!!! I am so sorry Nichole! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. xoxoox
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard. breast cancer takes too many lives. 🙁
My sincere condolences to you and all the family. What an important reminder for all of us.
that is devastating. and scary. your cousin is the second person I've heard about in as many days who died at 48 of breast cancer. it seems to me that this illness is touching more and more women at younger and younger ages.
This post broke my heart. I am so sorry for your loss and your Aunts. I can't even begin to imagine what your family is going through. I was diagnosed at 30 when I was 8 months pregnant with my third son. Women check your boobies and if something doesn't feel right, don't wait, get it checked! Thank you for sharing your story Nichole.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking about you and your family.
i am so very sorry Nichole. And your aunt, I can't imagine her sorrow. Prayers for your family, my friend.
Nichole, so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine. {hugs} to you and your family.
Nichole, sorry for your loss. This is so hard. My prayers are with your family. xo
Heart wrenching.
So sorry for your loss and I can't imagine what your aunt is going through. I lost a cousin to cancer last week too, she had not yet reached 40 and left behind two teenage daughters. The devastation of cancer is heartbreaking.
So sorry for your Aunt's loss and your loss Nichole. Losing two daughters like that would be just gutting.