As a child, I knelt by my bed each night and said my prayers. I can still recall the way my knees felt against the cool floor…the feel of my bedspread beneath my elbows. I prayed for such things as my mother’s health, a kitten, a trip to the playground.
Though I no longer kneel and pray each night, those quiet moments before sleep are still consumed with my hopes and dreams…the health of my family and my desire for another baby envelop me as I drift off.
Last night, as I always do before I finally close my eyes for the night, I reached for my phone one last time to check email.
And there in the quiet darkness of my room, with only the light from my phone, I was left completely speechless.
In my inbox was an email from a dear friend.
And within that email with an unfathomable offer.
My friend’s words read…
I’m certain that I am crossing a line by saying what I’m about to say but then I’ve never been good with boundaries. I’d like to offer you my frozen embryos.
I want you to know that I make the offer without any strings, without any attachment to the future of those embryos.
We have the children we want. And yet we have these babies that we cannot realize … I will not change my opinion of you if you say yes or no. But I want you to know that they (I think there are 6 left) are yours if you want them.
How do you even begin to thank someone for such kindness?
How do I tell her just what that offer means to me? To us?
Because contained in that email was more than an offer of her embryos.
It was a statement about our friendship…about how she feels about me as a mother… about Craig and me as parents…about us as a family.
I can’t even think about her words without crying.
Even if we are successful on our own and never reach the point where we accept her incredibly selfless offer, her generosity alone is a bigger gift than I could have ever dreamed of.
Though this fails miserably to convey my gratitude…
Thank you, my friend.
Thank you for being there for me throughout this journey…for offering me a shoulder on which to cry and for being willing to share with me the ultimate gift.
Thank you for helping me to see that we have options…for renewing my hope in this journey.