Swirled Around Us

This week’s Small Moments Mondays post comes from the lovely Meghan, from Phase Three of LIfe.

Meghan is a new friend, but she is full of surprises. My first impression of her was that she was so sweet, but then, after reading Dinnertime is different with a kidMoms are organizationally challengedI have a name, thankyouverymuch, I realized that she’s really funny too.

The more I learn about her, the more I like her. I think you will too!

Thank you so much, Megan, for sharing your small moment!

Swirled Around Usby Meghan

Mike and I live in a condo and we like to walk the streets of a quiet little retirement neighborhood behind our complex. We have a specific path we take each and every time. The streets might be worn in those spots with our footsteps.

We look at the houses, the same houses we see during each walk, and comment about what we like, what we don’t like, storing up all the details for the day when we finally buy our own.

When I was pregnant, we’d walk those streets and talk about how our lives were going to change. We’d wonder. What it would feel like to be a family of three instead of two. Would we know what to do? Wouldn’t holidays be fun? How long would it be before we slept again?

I got bigger and bigger, approached my due date, passed my due date. Now I walked slower, with a slight waddle thrown in for good measure. It was the heat of the summer in the desert, so we walked at night after the sun went down.

The warm air swirled around us as we decided that fake cacti are tacky lawn decorations in a place rife with real ones. And was Ryan ever going to arrive? What would it be like to go on this walk with him? With another human being. One that we created. One that we waited so many long months for.

I knew he’d be here soon. I knew it the same way I know the sun rises every morning. That is, I knew it because it is a fact. But I didn’t understand it, deep down. I couldn’t wrap my thoughts and feelings around something so big. So I walked and wondered.

Ryan just turned 9 months old. He’s been here, a part of our lives, for as long as I carried him inside and wondered. The other night, we plopped him in the stroller. We clanged through the gate of our complex and hit our stride on the familiar path. This time, pushing a stroller with a little guy who kept looking up and backwards to find us, as if checking to make sure we were keeping up with him.

The warm air swirled around us, the sun was setting, and I remembered. I remembered waddling through the streets night after night with all that pent-up excitement. Excitement and confusion and wonder.

And I know there was a time Ryan wasn’t here yet. I know it the same way I know the sun sets every night. I know it because it is a fact. But I can’t wrap my heart around the logic of it, because my heart has known this moment, this walk of a family of three, forever.

You can also find Meghan on Twitter and Facebook.

10 comments

  1. Jessica

    Such a sweet post, amazing how once we have children we don't remember life without them.

  2. That's an absolutely true and strange feeling. I KNOW I had a life before them, and I liked our life. Now that Abbey and Dylan are here, though, I can't imagine a time when they weren't. It's like in the Wizard of Oz, when everything turns to color when it was black & white before.

  3. Kir thekircorner.com

    What a simply gorgeous "love letter" to your son. I think that is what motherhood teaches all of us if we are listening, that our lives before those children was just us "waiting" for them. I really loved this!

  4. Rachel mommyneedsavacation.com

    Love this. I can't even remember what my life was like before I had kids…

  5. Kimberly mamasmonologues.com

    Such a sweet post. I can't remember, and try hard not to, what life was like before I had my kids.

  6. Meghan, this is such a beautiful post. What a great way for your family to connect.

  7. Thanks everyone! I'm so honored that Nichole allowed me to guest blog!

  8. Katie sluiternation.com

    oh my. so beautiful. i too cannot even fathom life without my little guy. i remember it, but I don't. this said it perfectly and so beautifully.

  9. julie gardner juliecgardner.com

    This is such a gorgeous post, Meghan.

    I love this line: my heart has known this moment, this walk of a family of three, forever.

    What a beautiful way to put a feeling we mothers all know.

    What a gift to Ryan.

  10. Sherri

    So sweet! Once they are here with us, it seems at times like they have always been with us, you know?

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