My Cue

I’ve been sitting here staring at this screen, trying to find the words to tell you about this week’s Small Moments Mondays guest poster.

There are so many things I could tell you about Rachel, who blogs over at Mommy Needs a Vacation.

I could tell you that she’s one of my dearest friends, that she’s kind, witty, and vivacious.

I could tell you that she’s supportive, encouraging, and true.

But that doesn’t even begin to express who she is and what she means to me.

She has become more like a sister to me than a friend and I am so incredibly grateful to have her in my life.

I love you, Rachel…so very much.  Thank you for sharing this small moment with us.

My Cue–by Rachel

As we pulled up to the familiar preschool, I looked back at Sadie who had a smile from ear to ear.

“Are you excited Sadie?” I asked her.

“Yes Mama! I am going to be a Polar Bear and Tyler is going to be a Blue Bird!!!” she squealed.

I knew this day would come.

The day that my little girl started Pre-K. The day she would absolutely love to go to school.

The day that my little boy would start preschool.

How did it arrive so quickly though?

I unloaded both kids from the car, handed them their lunches, and tousled their strands of blonde hair. We slowly made our way down the sidewalk into the school. Sadie, eager to see her new classroom, was running way ahead. Tyler, on the other hand, stopped to pick up sticks, point out the moon he could see in the bright blue sky, and inspect sprinkler heads in the lawn. Unlike Sadie, he had no idea what lay ahead of him.

Even though Sadie couldn’t wait to get inside her new classroom, once outside the door, she hung back, clinging to my leg. Although her face was still adorned with her breathtakingly beautiful smile, I could tell that even she was unsure of this new classroom experience.

As she made her way through the doorway, I saw her looking around, taking in all of that wondrous classroom magic.

Markers and paper.


The alphabet posters.

Her very own cubbie.

A friend from her class last year.

“Okay Sadie…have fun! I am going to take Tyler to his classroom now.” I told her.

She turned back towards me with that famous smile and squeezed me tight.

“I love you, Mama,” she said.

“I love you too, Sadie,” I replied.

In just a quick moment, my little girl had begun her last year of preschool, Pre-K.

As we left Sadie’s new classroom, I encouraged Tyler to keep walking with me but I could sense his frustration. Why hadn’t we gone to Sadie’s old classroom from last year that he knew so well? Where are we going now Mommy?

He stayed with me, although he lagged a little behind. He found a bug on the ground to poke, he admired a nearby cat.

As I approached his classroom, I looked back at him, encouraging him to join me. Now extremely frustrated, not knowing where we were going, he threw himself onto the ground in protest.

I scooped him up and was stunned by the weight of him. Not a baby anymore.

A big boy, starting preschool.

He snuggled into my neck as his arms and legs squeezed around my body. I could feel his fast, nervous breathing as I made my way into his classroom. I greeted the teachers who remembered Tyler as a 4 month old when Sadie had first started preschool in the same classroom.

“He is so big now! We are so excited to have him this year!” his teachers exclaimed.

Tyler, with his face still buried in my neck, began to moan the blues. I walked around the classroom telling him everything I could see, telling him how much fun he was going to have. Offering words of encouragement and love.

As soon as I approached the train table, I knew this would be the ticket for his comfort.

“Look Tyler! Look at all the choo-choo trains!!” I told him.

He jerked his head around, looked down and caught sight of all the choo-choo trains. He began to wriggle.

Wriggle out of my arms down onto the floor, standing right next to a giant train table filled with all of his favorite trains. He reached out, picked one up, and then looked up at me with that same big, beautiful smile Sadie had just given me moments before.

“Look Ma-ee! Choo-choos!” he exclaimed.

I took this small moment as my cue.

My cue to leave my baby boy.

I blew him a kiss, turned on my heels, and walked through the doorway as my shoulders relaxed for the first time that morning.

The moment when I knew my babies were growing up….

Had most definitely arrived.

When I asked Rachel which of her posts she’d like to share with you, she sent me the links to Spring Break is for Suckers, Dear Mommy: A Letter from Sadie to Yours Truly, It’s Another Vasectomy Tuesday, and  Mommy Instinct is NEVER WRONG.

With each title I read, a memory floated back to the surface. I remember each of these so distinctly. This girl can make me laugh like no other. And when she writes from her heart, mine melts. So lovely.

But, I just had to throw in a link to another of my favorites, a post about Sky Mall. Giggle.

Please go follow Rachel on Twitter and like her on Facebook!


  1. Rachel

    Thank you so much for having me here today Nichole. Your opening words brought tears to my eyes. You have inspired me to write and reflect on life's small moments…and for that, I thank you.

    Much love to you!!


  2. MamaWantsThis

    That was lovely, Rachel. Having kids is the most beautiful AND hardest thing in the world, isn't it?

  3. Rachel

    Yes it is! So difficult…yet magical!

  4. Kimberly

    Oh those moments kill me. I know that they have to grow up, but it still breaks my heart.

  5. Jessica

    Beautiful post Rachel! I am excited for the day that I get to take my little one to preschool for the first time but also saddened by the realization that it will mean she is growing up.

    Also, I'm shocked that there was not one hashtag in this post. #WasExpectingIt

  6. Rachel, you can always bring the funny, but this made me tear up. Abbey is going to preschool in the fall, and I am all sorts of emotional about it. If Dylan does the 2 1/2 year old program, he'll go the following fall, and that seems so soon :(

    Will. Need. Wine.

  7. Kir

    it's so true, that we wait for them to tell us when to go, when they are ready to "be"…I see those moments all the time anymore as they round 3 and head to 4. It leaves me wondering where all the time has gone and what life has in store for my family now.

    what a gorgeous moment, thank you for sharing it.

  8. The letting go part is always hardest on us mommies and not the kids.

  9. Evonne

    Watching our kids grow up can be heartbreaking, yet beautiful. I had a moment the other day where I realized my oldest is no longer little, but at the same time I am so happy I was able to share that moment with her.

  10. Rusti

    I'm all teared up over here… Hubs & I were just discussing preschool for Goose when she turns three in January… just six short months away… I'm nervous and terrified and already sad at how quickly my baby is growing up… thank you for sharing *blowing nose, wiping eyes*

  11. Aleta

    I love the tenderness in this post. It's beautiful and written as though to put me right in that moment.

  12. Jessica

    Oh so beautiful Rachel, those moments of letting go are so tough but the milestones they reach just help us remember we are doing our job (at least that is what I tell myself as I try to toughen up for preschool drop off this fall).

  13. Rachel

    Even though it was hard…I handled it better than I thought I would!

  14. Rachel

    I know..shocking!


  15. Rachel

    Thanks! It was nice to write something different. Your double preschool moment will be here before you know it. I will most definitely send you wine!

  16. Rachel

    Thanks so much for your beautiful comment!!

  17. Rachel

    So true!! I was fine about 10 minutes later though and enjoyed my morning off! :-)

  18. Rachel

    So true! Being able to share the moments make it special!

  19. Rachel

    It is difficult…yet nice. I love watching my babies grow!

  20. Rachel

    Thank you so much!

  21. Rachel

    You are exactly right! We are just doing our jobs!!

  22. I remember when I thought The Princess would NEVER go to playschool since she wouldn't leave my side, and would cry if I went anywhere … then on the day she ran in without a backward glance … I cried!

  23. @sogeshirts

    You sure know how to pick the guest writers Nichole. Great post Rachel! I can definitely picture both of them being dropped off. I'm sure they will have lots of fun. Just wait till they go to kindergarten.

  24. tracy@sellabitmum

    Pretty sure my youngest is never leaving home. Just saying.

  25. What a lovely post. You brought a few tears to my eyes, remembering the first time I dropped T off at pre-K. I don't know what it will be like when he starts K next year.

  26. Krista

    Oh, so sweet. My oldest is going to start day care a few days a week in the fall and I tear up just thinking about dropping her off in the mornings. I know that she will be fine. She'll love the kids and the toys and the attention. It just breaks my heart to think of her growing up.

  27. What a lovely, endearing post! I remember when I dropped off my older boys at preschool for the first time. Two completely different reactions. Big T was fine, happy to go. He walked in with an "I got this" attitude. Sweet Pea clung to me like like crazy. Now Big T is going into second grade, Sweet Pea will be in Pre-K and the baby is of course home with me. Time flies, but those memories last forever! Motherhood is riddled with conflicting emotions isn't it?

  28. multitaskingmumma

    Rachel this is beautiful.
    My daughter is 15 months and I find myself struggling with her growing up so fast. This post really resonated with me.
    I am now following! Your writing is perfection!!

  29. Sherri

    Oh Rachel…such a big moment! And those are the ones you won't forget….sigh.

    Loved this.

  30. galitbreen

    Such big sob-n-sniffle moments!

    Excuse me while I go wake my kids up to hug them.

    What? :)

    Great post you two!

  31. Mad Woman

    Oh Rachel. I think I now know why you're done making babies. This was so beautiful. Thank you for this peek into your life and into my near future.

  32. julie gardner

    Lovely post, Rachel (and what a heartfelt introduction, Nichole!).

    My baby started middle school this fall. (I KNOW!) When I left her and her brother at the edge of the campus (of course by then my kids wouldn't let me go in or cruise around their classrooms anymore) I felt a little lost.


    I wasn't exactly sure where to go and my house felt more empty when I returned home. (How is that possible when both of my children had been going to school away from me for years?)

    But I could feel a different kind of separation coming. It's still on the way.

    I'm not ready.

  33. Your comment about lifting up Tyler and finding that he was a boy and no longer a baby really hit home for me. Each time I pick up my son and feel how much heavier he has become – just a little heavier each month – I become a little wistful. It's so rewarding to watch them grow, but each bit of movement away from youth leaves me a little sad too. Nice post! Lovely to meet you!

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