BlogHer ’11 and Latent Insecurities

I have a secret.

Lean in real close.

In social settings, I sometimes have a bit of trouble.

And why is this relevant right now?

Well, I’m headed off to BlogHer ’11 in a couple of days and my palms are sweaty just thinking all of the evening events that I’ll be attending.

Events that will have alcohol.

Basically, I shouldn’t drink and meet.

If I have had zero drinks, I am friendly, but appropriate. I will listen to you and try to learn as much about you as possible.

If I have had one or two glasses of wine, I become funny. I will laugh, you will likely laugh, and fun will be had by all. This is my happy place. Yours too, I’m afraid.

If I have overindulged and had three glasses of wine, I basically lose my mind. All of those latent insecurities come to the surface and I become a one-woman Nichole marketing team.

I will want so badly for you to like me that I will. Not. Shut. Up.

Here’s a sample conversation. See if you can spot the trouble…

New friend: Hi, nice to meet you.

Me: Nice to meet you too. I love your shirt.

New friend: Thank you so much.

Me: I have shirts, too. I have lots of shirts. I have blue shirts, yellow shirts, white shirts, black shirts. I love shirts. Shirts are so awesome.

New friend: Um…

Me: Some of my shirts are cotton, some are linen, some are sleeveless, some are not. We both love shirts! We have so much in common!

New friend: Okay, well…um…nice meeting you. Buh bye.

So, if you meet me at BlogHer ’11 and I’m rambling, please know that it’s just because I like you and want you to like me too.

Though I like to think of myself as a confident woman, there’s something about large groups of women that reduce me to a version of my 22-year-old self.

And that’s my biggest fear.

Are you going to BlogHer ‘11?

And if you are, what’s your greatest fear?

Maybe we can talk about it at length after a few glasses of wine. ;)


  1. michonmichon

    I do that exact same thing! Overtalk, overshare, nervous talk! UGH!

  2. Kristin

    OK- so you and I will give away any extra drink tickets, only not to each other.
    And can we make a pact that if either of us overdrink we lock the other one in the bathroom.

  3. @cambowman

    I just curled up in a ball, I totally relate. Just know that we already like you, so you don't have to worry!

  4. supermomboots

    Well if we ever meet we would probably try and out-chatter each other!

  5. Amy

    At least you are a friendly insecure drinker. I become surly and hide in the corner like a sulky puppy. Cheers!

  6. erin margolin

    I am sadly not going to BlogHer, but if I was? I would have a glass or two with you and then we could babysit/monitor each other. To ensure there's no silly shirt talk.


    You are a doll. Everyone is going to love you. Try to relax—but I know it's soooo hard and I am a big hypocrite for even saying it.

    Can't wait to hear all about it!

  7. Evonne

    Sadly I'm not going to BlogHer, but if I was, this is how I would be. I'm quiet. Add a drink or 2 and I'm more social. More than 2 or 3 and I think I come on to strong.

    I don't think you're the only one worried about meeting new people. I know you will have loads of fun and meet loads of people (who like you in return).

  8. Sherri

    Oh, I adore you my dear….and this? Perfect!

    I love it when you bring the funny..and I will stand by your side and happily drink several glasses of wine with you while we chat about our shirts.

  9. Leigh Ann

    Ha ha ha! I do the same thing, only on no drinks. I swear I used to be a little less socially awkward before I had kids. These days I'm so thrilled to be talking to adults and I go into overdrive!

  10. Suzanne

    Ha! I do the same thing! Except I always forget to stop at 3 drinks and end up at 4 drinks…which is the Suzanne who loooooooves everyone and has no personal space limitations. So expect a hug from me. Or five.

  11. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who does this ;-) Let's be chatty together, M'Kay? :-)

  12. SquashedMom

    OK, I am now going to toss all my plans out the window and just sit and drink with you every evening, because I think you're adorable. Also? I am soooo much the same. Alcohol plus me = motormouth. We are going to have so much fun. I just. can't. wait. Squeeeeeee!

    (Oh, yeah I have to do about a week's worth of planning and prep in two days because the last week has been all about the boys' birthday and finding a new babysitter. Yikes!)

  13. temysmom

    Nichole… you and I will get along just fine. We'll have a few cocktails and talk each other's ears off.

  14. MamaRobinJ

    I would totally love that conversation.

    One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to seem totally lame because I'm not a wine drinker. I'm going to feel like everyone else is a mature adult and I'm totally not. So even if you talk to people about shirts you will be cooler than I am ;)

  15. Julie

    I still recall our first conversation at BloggyBootCamp last year. And even with the drinks (more on my part than yours I'm SURE!) you were nothing but the kindest person that I met. Totally worth my trip to CA… just wish I could have one more night to chat with you!

  16. andygirl

    woman, I hear ya. I think I've come to terms that I'll never be the kind of blogger to go to conferences. but I'm sure you'll be lovely.

  17. Suz

    Im definitely a overchatted when drinking too! For me it also means cuss words & slightly inappropriate things might pop out! Find me & we can overchat (& have a glass or two of wine) together!

  18. Idiot Mom (Amy)

    You are hilarious. I'll take all of your drink tickets:)

    Seriously, I hope to meet you!

  19. @ItsAFitting

    I totally overshare when drinking and my problem is knowing when to stop drinking. Because I feel AWESOME! ALL THE TIME!!! THIS PARTY IS THE BEST! And I'm not even DRUNK!!! And then that last drink slams into me and I'm like. uhoh. Then I just start babbling like a fool. Sigh. I may even try to hug you. I apologize in advance.

  20. Tim@sogeshirts

    I can be a bit weird too when meeting someone for the first time. It’s natural. You will be fine. :)

  21. ChiMomWriter

    Um, yeah, nervous Tracy keeps a glass in hand to keep from fidgeting. But the problem is that I keep emptying that glass. Let’s put it this way: The last time I got REALLY nervous when going out, I ended up snoring in my friend’s car by 10. Not cute at 22 but expected every once a while. REALLY not cute at 35.

    (But I like shirts, too.)

  22. SuzRocks

    I’ll be at Blogher. When I start drinking more, I also talk more… Sometimes I know enough to shut up, sometimes not. You’ll really know how tipsy I am by how close I’m talking to you. I tend to feel the need to be THIS much closer to you when I’m tipsy. Feel free to push me away… :)

  23. Hee hee, you’re adorable. You’ll be great, don’t worry!

  24. TheNextMartha

    ha! I do that with NO drinks. Cant' wait to meet you.

  25. Triplezmom

    Hey, I say 22 year old version is pretty good. Pretty sure to revert to 13 or so. I think everyone feels like that at BlogHer – have fun! And 2 drinks. :)

  26. I can totally relate:) I am going to BlogHer, this is my first time and I’m totally excited. It IS difficult walking up to a total stranger to introduce myself….this is probably my biggest fear. Have a great time and enjoy those parties!

  27. Ha. At least you can blame it on the wine… I just don't get out much and am totally conversation deprived , BFF deprived, and too anxious to please.. Forget all about it and just have some fun. We have all been there!

  28. Miranda

    Um, samesies over here! So? We should BOTH have three glasses of wine and then we will be instant BFFs.

  29. I think there are so many of us feeling this way! We'll definitely have to share a glass and laugh off all these ridiculous insecurities we have because we're AWESOME! Right? Maybe? Ok

  30. Aleta

    I wish I was going :) Writing for me is great, but my fear with meeting people is that I sort of sink into the background. I'm super quiet :)

  31. casey mullins

    I'm scared to death that no one actually likes me. Or that no one will like me, they'll just be nice to my face. You know?

  32. I have a secret too. I wish I was going to be at BlogHer to meet you! Crazy talk or no. Don't worry about it too much. Just have a whole lot of fun!!

  33. Oh I am sure you will be fine girl…LOL stick to those two glasses of wine and you'll have a grand time! So sad I'm not going, but you have a BLAST!

  34. Kimberly

    I do the same thing, except completely sober. I think I get so excited to be talking to another adult that I actually like I throw myself into overdrive.

    I wish I was going to BlogHer. I would talk about shirts with you all night! And kill a bottle of wine too. ;)

  35. mamamash

    I met a fellow blogger the other day and did the nervous babble thing for a few minutes before I noticed that she was just as nervous. So I think we're all in the same boat! Make those two glasses of wine last, and you'll be fine.

  36. galitbreen

    Oh dear friend, you can talk to me about shirts at length any old time! XO

  37. jamiewalkerball

    Seriously! I get chatty when nervous and/or drunk, too. I'm going to go with the idea of talking a mile a minute and over-sharing that sometimes results can sometimes create some instant bonds in a way that staying quiet surely couldn't. So let us drink a moderate amount of wine and talk! See you at BlogHer!

  38. Ginger

    My biggest fear is that I won't have the guts to walk up to people and introduce myself, and that no one will come up to me to talk. But with a drink or two, I'm much more likely to overcome my wallflower tendencies, and get chatty. I'm all about chatty then. Of course, usually if I move to three or four, I just end up sleepy, and that's just no good for anything!

    So if I work up the nerve to come talk to you, I PROMISE I won't have any problems at all with conversations about shirts!

  39. emilysmom09

    I'm fairly new to the blogging world, but I would eventually love to go to a conference! Hanging out with a bunch of women that you already have so much in common with…What could go wrong? I'm the same as you, though…2 glasses of wine is my limit. 3 and I'm suddenly Chatty Kathy! You're adorable and hilarious and everyone already does love you. Just be yourself and have fun! :)


  40. I do the same thing, too!! Except I add a stupid giggle to the mix!! You'll be fine!!! I so wish I was going!!!

  41. At least you stick around to chat! Pump me full of booze and all I want to do is dance or work the room. And when I'm working a room, I don;t talk to anyone for more than three minutes. Ugh.

  42. polwig

    I become a chatty Kathy too, which is easy since my name is Kathy… anyway you will have fun and talking someone's ear off is better then not talking at all. HAVE FUN !!!

  43. Kir

    You are so silly, mostly because you are AWESOME and who wouldn't want to be your friend??? I too get a little more gregarious and talkative as I get to know people, plus I curse when I feel comfortable and that can send quite a lot of people packing..LOL…have a great time my friend, you're going to be ELOQUENT xo

  44. mommyofamonster

    I cannot wait my friend!!!

  45. Jaime

    I am not going to BlogHer for many reasons, but just thinking about the possibility of it makes me self conscious and nervous.

    I'm the exact opposite. I can't talk to people I don't know. If I meet someone new after the initial conversation, I freeze. I think and think of what I could possibly say and nothing comes into my head. So I often end up coming across as a snobby witch. Because I don't speak.

    But give me a few drinks and I'm golden. However, 1 too many drinks and I'm spending the rest of the evening hanging over a toilet.

    I can't imagine anyone not liking you though. You are sweet and always seem to know what to say. Have fun!

  46. I do this cold stone sober, I even manage to do it online … somewhat socially inept in many an occasion, but in person sometimes having an accent saves me. People go with the adorable factor of the accent and forget how incredibly annoying I have just been ;)
    (well, in my mind anyway)

  47. Rachel

    People…don't listen to this. Nichole is amazing with or without drinks. I think we just talk over each other all the time! Ha!! Can't wait to see you again!

  48. I'm not going, but if I was? I would totally sit there and listen to all of your chatter about shirts. I am totally and painfully shy when it comes to large events. So I will cling to anybody that will talk to me.

  49. julie gardner

    …but shirts ARE awesome.

    I have fear of silences and therefore labor FURIOUSLY to prevent them. As such, no one can get a word in edgewise because I don't stop talking to breathe. Apparently.

    So. Oxygen? Overrated. Shirts, however?


  50. Mrs. Jen B

    I’m the same way. When I’m nervous and just want someone to like me I won’t shut up. And really, there’s only so much really interesting stuff to talk about, so it becomes a monologue about the pros and cons of, like, gum. Seriously.

    I’m jealous of all you BlogHer gals! I know you’ll have an awesome time!

  51. Ali

    Hi Nichole,

    I'm excited to go to BlogHer but I'm afraid I'll be the only woman there with no kids (cats don't count, do they?)…

    I hope to get to meet you in person!!

    Take care,

  52. Jennie B

    I think we're all nervous! None of my friends would ever describe me as shy, but when I get into a large group where I don't know anybody, I clam up. If someone wanted to talk to me about shirts, I'd be so grateful :)

    Can't wait to see you and hopefully have a drink with you!

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