Tied to Him

This week’s Small Moments Mondays guest poster is the lovely Stasha from Ponderings of a Middle-Aged Mom.

Stasha and I have in common one of the worst things that two people possibly can. We each lost our dad when we were small girls.

I have liked Stasha from the first moment I met her. She is kind and genuine, funny and compassionate. For every light-hearted story she has to share, she has another story that makes you stop what you’re doing and truly think.

Thank you, Stasha, for sharing your father with us.  Thank you for being you.

Your writing…your story…just lovely.

Tied to Him–by Stasha

I pull one of his ties from the closet.

I wrap it around my neck. I feel connected to him.

I run my fingers along the blue diagonal pattern of his tie, caress the memories of a man.

Memories of a man I love.

I brush the cool silkiness of the fabric against my cheek.

Looking in the mirror, I see some of him in me. See how we are different yet the same.

Two people cut from the same cloth.

So many memories of a time not long enough.

He always wore a white button down shirt, a tie and dress slacks.

He was not a ‘business man’ but was part owner of a business.

He was proud that he owned a business and liked to dress the part.

He was half owner of a butcher shop.

His was not an easy job. Working with the public never is.

He worked hard to make a decent living to support his wife and children.

He came home in the evenings, tie undone and hanging around his neck and the top two buttons of his shirt unbuttoned.

Loosening his tie was his way to let the work day go so he could enjoy time with his family.

He always walked in with a smile on his face no matter what kind of day he had. Always happy to see his family.

He was always glad to be home.

Looking in the mirror, I see some of him in me.

I hold the tie in my hands.

I think of the immense love he had for us.

I think of how he laughed and cried and lived while wearing this tie.

I think of the day on which this tie was severed.

I look at myself in the mirror with his tie draped around my neck. Such a small piece of clothing that links me to this man.

Links the man he was to the woman that I have become.

I work to support my family. A hard, thankless job.

I, like him, look forward to the end of day when everything winds down and time can be spent with my family.

I learned so much from him. Even though my memories are faded and few.

I caress his tie as I re-hang it in the closet.

Dad died when I was nine.

I miss him.

Such a gorgeous post. Just one of many.

Please visit Stasha on her blog and read  some of her other amazing posts: Forgotten, Shadows from the Past, and No Contact.

Also, please go follow Stasha on Twitter and catch up with her on Facebook.


  1. Mrs4444 halfpastkissintime.com

    That had to be tough; losing her dad so young. Beautiful post.

  2. Sherri

    This is so touching….and so close to Nichole's heart. What a special place for you to share this story, Stasha. How wonderful to meet you.

  3. Rachel mommyneedsavacation.com

    So beautiful. I found myself holding my breath through this post…as I almost lost my dad last year. Hugs to you.

  4. ksluiter

    oh stasha. how i love your words and your heart. i hate that you lost your dad. I hate that nichole lost hers. it's a shitty club to be a part of.

    my husband kept one of his dad's ties. it hangs in our closet. he has no intention of ever wearing it, but it's there.

  5. MamaWantsThis mamawantsthis.com

    What a gorgeous post Stasha. I'm so sorry you lost your dad at such a young age. This is truly a beautiful tribute to him.

  6. Jen Has A Pen jenhasapen.com

    So completely sad. :-( I cannot imagine how this would feel – yet, I felt so connected by your words. Thank you for sharing such a raw emotion.

  7. Kir thekircorner.com

    I lost my dad at 26 and I always say it never really matters how old you are, losing a parent is always hard. I am so sorry for your loss. This reminded me so much of my dad who wore a white shirt and tie every day..which as much a part of him as his eye color. This story brought back good memories and I'm so thankful you shared it. Many hugs to you.

  8. Thank you for sharing this with us. It's such a gorgeous tribute, though I am so sad for you (and Nichole, too) that you had to deal with the loss of your father at such a young age :( You remember him so beautifully it brought tears to my eyes.

  9. Stasha ponderingsofmom.blogspot.com/


    Thank you for inviting me to guest post today. I am truly honored.

  10. tracy selalbitmum.com

    So beautiful and sad. You are a gifted writer. So happy to meet you here. xo

  11. Kris prettyalltrue.com

    Stasha –

    Remember how I said that you could do this? How you needed to trust in yourself and your abilities? How your decisions would be the right ones for you? Happy sighs.

    You have written an amazing and powerful piece, babe.

    Words that speak to the sadness of your past and the melancholy of your present.

    Words that speak to your strength.

    So well done, Stasha.

    So well done.


  12. Stasha ponderingsofmom.blogspot.com/

    It has been hard.

    Over the years, the pain has faded but has never completely gone away.

    I suspect that it never will.

  13. Stasha ponderingsofmom.blogspot.com/

    Thank you!

    So nice to meet you too! :)

  14. Stasha ponderingsofmom.blogspot.com/


    It would be cool if one day your husband could/would wear his Dad's tie. Not all the time but maybe as a tribute to him on his birthday or something like that. Or framing it with a picture of his Dad.

    The only thing that I have are a few pictures of my Dad. I pull them out and look at them on the days where missing him is unbearable.

  15. Stasha ponderingsofmom.blogspot.com/

    He was taken from his family too soon.

    He is missed everyday.

    The pain has faded but has never gone completely away. . .

  16. Stasha ponderingsofmom.blogspot.com/


    Thank you for reading.

    So happy that I was able to connect with you.

  17. Stasha ponderingsofmom.blogspot.com/

    Losing a parent IS hard, no matter the age.

    Happy that I was able to bring up good memories for you!

  18. Stasha ponderingsofmom.blogspot.com/

    Thank you.

    I was always jealous of my brother and sister because they got to grow into adulthood with him in their lives.

    I have spent a lot of time thinking about 'what could have been'. It always leaves me with a lot of heartache.

  19. Stasha ponderingsofmom.blogspot.com/

    It was hard.

    But being so young was a blessing too. . . I was able to block out a lot of things that were just too much for a nine year old to have to deal with.

    So a lot of my memories are faded when it comes to his getting sick and his death.

  20. Stasha ponderingsofmom.blogspot.com/


    Thank you so much.

    It is so nice to meet you too!

  21. midwestmomments

    I can't imagine losing a parent at such a young age. I know when my parents are gone, I will miss them terribly, and I've been fortunate enough to have them with me through growing up into adulthood. Beautiful piece.

  22. ksluiter

    that is a cool idea, Stasha! we also have only a few pictures of Cort's dad. i have tried to frame the ones from when Cort was a kid with his dad. just to keep him around the way he is in Cort's memory.<p ws=”true” style=”margin:0; “>Katie Sluiter <p ws=”true” style=”margin:0; “>Sluiter Nation – blog <p ws=”true” style=”margin:0; “>Katie's Bookcase – blog <p ws=”true” style=”margin:0; “>Exploded Moments – blog <p ws=”true” style=”margin:0; “>The Red Dress Club – writing community leaderMy profiles: Signature powered by WiseStampFrom: notifications@intensedebatemail.comTo: ksluiter@hotmail.comSubject: Stasha replied to your comment on Tied to Him

  23. I always love your writing. Thank you for sharing another piece of yourself with us. Hugs to you. I know writing this had to be hard.

  24. Stasha ponderingsofmom.blogspot.com/

    It was hard.

    But at the same time? There is healing.

    It took a very long time before I could even talk about him with my family. So being able to write about him? Is a huge step.

  25. Oh, Stasha, this is beautiful!

  26. Stasha ponderingsofmom.blogspot.com/

    Thanks Shell!

    So happy that you stopped by!

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