Two become three

This week’s Small Moments Mondays guest poster has inspired me with her tremendous bravery in the face of true heartache. Despite being faced with unspeakable losses, Tonya, from Letters for Lucas, not only continues on, but does so with a grace and beauty that I admire beyond words.

Tonya is quick to offer a shoulder or a laugh and I am so incredibly grateful to call her my friend.

Thank you, Tonya, for being my friend, inspiring me with your words and strength of character, and understanding my ridiculous love for Dave Matthews. You get me. ;)

Two Become Three — by Tonya

My parents both passed away in October 2007 and while this tragic and unexpected event rattled me to the core and certainly derailed me for a while, my husband, Todd and I were still very anxious to start a family of our own.

We had been trying on and off to conceive for six months and it wasn’t happening but we weren’t discouraged yet. In other words, I wasn’t taking my temperature or peeing on an ovulation sticks. We figured it would happen when the time was right.

Low and behold… sometimes, often times, life can change so quickly and most of the time without any warning and the smallest of moments can lead to the greatest of gifts.

On Wednesday, October 8, 2008, almost a year to the date of my parents’ deaths, I discovered I was pregnant with my son Lucas.

I was elated and scared to death all at the same time when I saw the digital word: PREGNANT appear on the EPT stick. In that moment I experienced so many emotions, but most of all, I couldn’t wait to tell Todd.

I started crying tears of joy and sadness. I was in shock and then quickly became very worried.

A baby wasn’t going to replace my mother and father. On one hand, bringing a child into the world would be proof that life goes on with or without a broken heart and on the other, I didn’t want to be so broken hearted that I would end up being a terrible parent.

I will never forget pulling the test out of my purse while sitting in our favorite restaurant, sliding it across the table and my husband asking me if it was still wet!

We had no idea what was in store for us in the eight months that followed. It was a roller coaster ride of fears and doubts and then acceptance and pure excitement.

I did my best to focus on sending love and light to the new life inside me and ended up having the BEST pregnancy.

Todd and I enjoyed every minute of reading What To Expect When You’re Expecting out loud to one another in bed late at night, learning what size fruit our baby resembled. We had fun taking monthly baby bump photos and especially seeing our son to be in ultrasounds. We kept our secret just between us for several months and then were ecstatic to finally share our news with family and friends. We watched my body change and grow and grow and grow, felt our baby kick, put together his crib, registered for shower gifts, tested stroller after stroller, took more parenting classes than I care to admit and made lists of names we liked and could agree upon.

Naming a child is one of the most difficult tasks assigned to parents to be. Do you go with a family name, something utterly unique or keep it traditional? We knew our son’s middle name would be Michael, after my father but we were all over the map when it came to our baby’s first name.

We discussed Benjamin, Fox, Gavin, Carson, Carter and James and finally settled on Lucas. Todd and I met in Cabo San Lucas, so this made perfect sense, once we finally got to it.

Our son’s name was important and the homage to my father very much so, but it would be the amazing little person that carried the names that made this small moment life changing.

It was a wonderful time in our lives, those nine months before two became three and all because of one moment when the universe smiled down on us worked in our favor.

Now that you have read Tonya’s story here, please go read Right on LudingtonBroke Down, and The House that Built Me.

Be sure to go follow her on Twitter and like her on Facebook. She’s an amazing woman and a beautiful writer.


  1. C.Mom

    I love that Tonya and Todd read What to Expect together…. so sweet!!!

  2. Tonya

    Truly honored to be featured here today! Thank you, Nichole. Your friendship means so much to me.

  3. Natalie

    Tonya – I love this post…you're words are always so full of emotion. Now I want to hear about how you and Todd met – I never have heard the story and I think it would be a great post ;)

  4. Melanie


    Such a beautiful story. I love how both you and Todd enjoyed your pregnancy together.

    How lucky that you have Lucas and Lucas has you two. What a cool blessing.

  5. chimomwriter

    Thank you for featuring Tonya here – A great introduction to a wonderful writer! Looking forward to reading more – I'm a new follower on twitter/facebook.

  6. Sherri

    Oh Tonya, I love this! It is truly a small moment but a huge one when two become three. This is just beautiful.

    And you guys met in Cabo?! How jealous am I! We love it there…..

  7. Matty

    I don't think it's a fluke that you suddenly became pregnant a year after the unexpected deaths of your parents. It goes to show that the circle of life continues. Just as your memories will carry on the legacy of your dad, so will your son and his middle name.

    Congratulations to both of you.

  8. Leah

    Aww, another beautiful and honest piece written by my sister. I am blessed beyond words to have her, her husband and son in my life. I don't know what I would do without them. Lots of love. XOXO

  9. Jessica

    An excellent post Tonya. I love the meaning behind Lucas's name. Makes it very special.

  10. MamaRobinJ

    Tonya is one of my absolute faves. A tweet I happened to catch started a conversation which has developed into a friendship I'm so grateful for.

    T – Connor's middle name is Michael too, after my dad.

    Beautiful story. And I second the request to tell about how you and Todd met :)

  11. Klz

    A third request for the story of how you met! Great post tonya!

  12. Jessica

    I love Tonya and am so glad she shared her words here. What a great meaning behind Lucas's name. Such a strong Mommy you are Tonya. Thanks for featuring her Nichole!

  13. knowitallnanna

    Beautiful post…

  14. Evonne

    What a beautiful post! My son is also named after someone in our family.

  15. @tsharp12

    I agree, beautiful post. I am in awe of how things come together in my life as well as other's! Congratulations on your beautiful family!

  16. Names ARE so important!

    We changed a zillion times. And we didn't know the gender, so our indecisiveness swung both ways!

    Beautifully told story, dear lady. So so much.

  17. Kir

    Oh Tonya that was a gorgeous story of how you built your family with a broken heart. My heart just squeezed. For yours, and when I got to the part about his name and that picture of your beautiful family..I wanted to send u all my hugs. Thank you for sharing this with your amazing words.

  18. Amy H

    Tonya, this is a beautiful post! I, too, had my first during a tough family time…not knowing if my dad would live to meet my baby. But the most wonderful part about that pregnancy was that bonding between my husband and me. He would read Curious George and Dr. Seuss to my belly at night and I thought it was so cute. Thank you for the reminder. Now that I'm pregnant with #3, we don't do some of those sweet things to prepare, but we're just as excited to be on this journey together.

  19. amber

    That would be both tough and amazing. What a beautiful post!

  20. Natalie

    I love Tonya.. She was one of my first Twitter friends & reading her blog has been so much fun.

  21. What a fabulous post! I love that Lucas was named after the place you met. It's fun when names have a little meaning to them.

  22. I loved the words here, but my favorite part of this post is the joy in your eyes – that picture says so much. What a beautiful family. What a lucky boy to be born into so much light and love.

  23. Himself

    That's a touching and well-told story. I loved reading 'we' over and over again – too many fathers miss out on the wonderful opportunity presented by pregnancy and childbirth to enrich their relationship with their partner and to widen their own perspective on the world. And too many fathers who do so go unacknowledged. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

  24. ksluiter

    I LOVE this post.

    Two becoming three. Oh how I remember that second when I looked around the room at 10pm and saw Cort, me, and our little Eddie.

    We were three.

    your words are sooo full of love, Tonya. So full.

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