There are times when I am so fearful that the baby that we want so desperately won’t come.
I look at Katie and Matthew and my heart aches for just one more child.
One more child to be a part of what we have built.
One more child to have all that neither Craig nor I had.
A solid family. A mother, a father, predictability, stability.
When I see Katie run for the garage door to greet Craig when he gets home at night, a piece of me heals.
When I nurse Matthew at bedtime and I can hear Craig reading Katie her bedtime stories, a piece of me heals.
When I come downstairs on Saturday mornings and see my family together, snuggling on the sofa, a piece of me heals.
When I catch Katie watching me kiss her daddy, a piece of me heals.
I didn’t have this.
Craig didn’t have this.
But our children do.
It is such a remarkable thing to experience…this feeling of being part of a solid whole.
Just one more baby…just one more tiny life with whom to share all of this.
Just one more.