Easy to Fishy Fishy? Or why I love Vonage Visual Voicemail

There is little that I enjoy less than talking on the telephone.

I much prefer to text, email, DM, or tweet.

The sound of the phone ringing grates on my last nerve.

But, if there’s anything that I dislike more than talking on the phone, it’s dialing in to check voicemail.

Until a few months ago, if you left me a voicemail, the chances of me listening to it were slim to none.

Your messages just stayed in the purgatory of voicemails. Not deleted and not listened to. Just there for all eternity.

I was thrilled to learn that our phone service, Vonage, offers a visual voicemail that gets emailed directly to your inbox.

They extended us an offer to “experience the most advanced voicemail ever!”  They tempted me with “the luxury of Vonage Visual Voicemail!”

I couldn’t think of anything more perfect!

So, Craig signed us up and I couldn’t wait to see our first luxurious message.

Here’s one of the first visual voicemails that we received:

Um, what? The message is from Gramma Rain, not Debra Rein. And they had no intentions of bringing our kids any presidents.


But, Gramma Rain has a bit of an accent, so I wasn’t ready to give up on “the most advanced voicemail ever!” just yet.

Cheryl, who blogs over at Mommy Pants, recently left me this message:

Um, huh? Watching nice people?

Then, today, I got two messages from Cheryl. Here’s the first:

She claims she wasn’t talking about Nancy, and I’m still trying to figure out what “If you do not know easy to fishy fishy” means. Any guesses?

And here’s the other message she left me today:

What? Faculty? Pictures are writing?

You might be thinking that we should go back to traditional voicemail, but nope. No way.

For the first time in years, I am happy to hear the phone ring because I can’t wait to read your voicemail!

This post is linked up with Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop in response to the idea of a pet peeve.

Mama’s Losin’ It


  1. kris

    Oh, that is awesome. I hate the phone and I NEVER listen to my voice-mail.

    I want this service badly!

    Oh my god . . . I want this service so badly.

  2. Tonya lettersforlucas.com

    I HATE talking on the phone too and I want this service!

  3. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Like you don't know who Nancy is and what we're all doing to the fishy fishy.

    Also, stop dodging my calls!

  4. I hate the phone too! But I love me some fishy fishy….could it have been about the Shrimp scampi she was making? HA!
    When do we get the big reveal as to what she really said?

  5. Entertaining on so many levels…and blog fodder, too! What's not to love?

  6. SquashedMom

    OK, I really needed to laugh tonight, thank you (tears streaming out of eyes).

  7. Carrie musingsfrommtrogo.ca

    If I had messages like that I'd be totally ignoring my phone!

    Visiting from Mama Kat's

  8. I NEED this service. It totally meshes with my hatred for talking on the phone and my obsessive love for http://www.damnyouautocorrect..com!
    Visit from MamaKat’s.

  9. andygirl

    THAT. IS. BRILLIANT! I hate voice mail. (and WHY must my father leave a voice mail every time he calls? Dad, I saw the missed call. give it UP.) but this is comedic entertainment gold. GOLD I tell you!

    easy to fishy fishy is now my new catch phrase. let's spread it like wildfire.

  10. Jen Has A Pen jenhasapen.com

    This is great! :-) I had no idea this existed.

  11. When I started reading your post, I thought "Oooooh, I want to get visual voicemail!" Then I read the whole thing. Now I really must get it. I haven't laughed this hard in years. Years I tell you. Thanks for sharing.

  12. Nancy C npoj.blogspot.com

    I knew you were talking about me! Paranoia confirmed! :-)

  13. Krista nhmommaof5.blogspot.com

    Isn't awesome? Best thing since sliced bread! Right to my cell phone, no answering the house line. Woohoo! And for me, if after reading the ridiculous translation, I can always press play and listen to it. Ya know, just in case of the fishy fishy.

  14. CDG

    New mission: get #easytofishyfishy trending on Twitter!
    Who's with me?

  15. jessb27

    Oh I hate checking voicemails too and I hate when people say "did you get my voicemail?" when I finally call them back because I never get their voicemails. I want this service even if I get fishy, fishy messages.

  16. Nichole! This is too funny! I love it…please make this a regular post…like Voicemails of the month. I'll call you, name the time and place and then don't answer…thanks for the morning smile :)

  17. Veronica mayangelstar.com

    Oh my! They must use the same technology as auto-correct. That is hilarious!

  18. Jaime ainsleylynn.blogspot.com

    Oh I hate talking on the phone. When the phone rings my stomach tenses up. I actually just wrote a post about it. How answering the phone is kind of part of my job and most of the time I let it go to voicemail because I want to know what someone wants FIRST!!

    Anyway, we had a similar service at my old job and I LOVED it…but it is not super accurate. So funny!

  19. I never ever ever listen to my voicemails. Also, I have AT&T, so I fear my loathing will never be replaced with the joy of text. I shall never be told how easy it is to fishy fishy.


  20. Hilarious! I would tell people to call me, just so I could let it go to voicemail.

  21. Swedish fish?

    Fish in tights?

    As much as I dislike the phone, I think I would go mad with trying to decode all of this!

  22. Sherri

    I hate, hate talking on the phone. And many of my friends think it's odd. So now I love you even more…

    But I won't call you! Promise. Unless we have to talk…then we'll just have to suck it up, I guess.

    But these emails are hysterical, so maybe I should switch to Vonage?

  23. Natalie mommyofamonster.com

    Awesome, Chole! That is HILARIOUS! I love it and am going to tweet this now!

  24. Post was this funny so fishy fishy laughing hard really, you know ;) Beep!

  25. Stacey staceysmotheringmoments.com

    LOL That's way more interesting than my usual voicemails! That is seriously hilarious!

  26. Love this. Far better than answering the phone or listening to voicemail. Which I never do. Good luck with katie and the faculty leotard and being 45.


  27. This is hilarious.
    I would definilty keep it just to mess with it when I call.

  28. Nicole coliescrafts.blogspot.com

    That's awesome! If anything, it's a good way to get a belly laugh!

  29. _Rebecca_

    I want this.

    The phone makes me cringe as well, but with this? I'd be all smiles!

  30. Mad Woman adiaryofamadwoman.com

    I must have your phone number and then I want to be cc'd on my own messages to you. Say you will, pretty please?!?!?!?! i'll only call during lunch or while you're away on play dates or when the vacuum sales man is there. Promise.

  31. ~*Jess*~ straighttalkjess.com

    I HATE checking voicemail! That is hilarious. Those are so far wrong that it makes the service comical.

  32. This was a great post! I personally would never use this… I dont think except to see how funny the voicemail would be but then again, I am one of those people who answers every call! Keep up the great blogging!

  33. JDareG

    That made me laugh so loud. I love that service, must see if we can get it, if only for my amusement!

  34. erin margolin erinmargolin.com

    I’m the same way. But we do have a land line and I use it when necessary….and we have a real answering machine connected to one of the phones. But this thing is hilarious! I haven’t laughed this hard in a loooooong time. Love it!

  35. As I read this…I have a voice mail on my phone that has been sitting there for probably 2 weeks. I will eventually listen to it just to get the little icon out of the notification bar. But it has to annoy me enough first.

    I hate voicemails. Text and email are my preferred methods of non-Twitter communication.

    If we had this service? 1 of 2 things would happen. Hub's head would explode trying to make sense of the messages (he's the most literal man on the planet…) or he would begin leaving me gibberish messages just to make MY head explode…not sure which. LoL

  36. Tim@sogeshirts

    haha those are too funny. I wouldn't want to cancel the service either cause I would be having too much fun trying to decipher the actual voicemail.

  37. Hahaha.. that's funny.. I would imagine there would be some 'comprehension' issues on the computer's part.

    But, I'm with you.. I hate phones and voicemails.. I don't understand why people can't just text.

  38. Yuliya shesuggests.com/

    Oh my! I can't wait to call you and speak with various accents to see what that does to your phone!

  39. LOL!!! Holy crap that's funny!! At least now it's something you look forward too…a little bit of craziness delivered right to your inbox!! I hate the phone too…and I NEVER listen to my messages either.

  40. TheJackB thejackb.com

    Reminds me a little bit of the Damn you Auto Correct site and the text fails they list there. http://ht.ly/47yWx

  41. Laura ahootiehoot.blogspot.com

    Oh my God, that was so hilarious!!!! I HATE talking on the phone too! I find it much easier to text what I want than to actually call someone. If I had this service, I would be begging people to leave me messages so I could have a good laugh reading the translation! Too funny! Thanks for the laugh!

  42. Cam DougandCam.com

    This is such an awesome post! So funny. I would love that service too!

  43. Rachel mommyneedsavacation.com

    This is TOO funny! LOL!!!!! I want that service. And I agree- I hate VM!!

  44. Renee 2old2tap.blogspot.com

    That is awesome!
    Although some of the voice mail I listen to sounds just like what you got in text.

  45. Crinthia socalledmom.com

    that was incredible- gotta love all this "smart technology"

  46. omg I'm laughing so hard that tears are streaming down my face! thank you so much for the good read!! I'm sharing this on facebook and twitter!

  47. Angie thelittlemumma.typepad.com

    Oh my lordy, that was hilarious!

    We had a similar service for a while. Sadly, it was a free trial and we did not sign up but man, it did make me giggle.

  48. wantapeanutblog

    This reminds me of the iPhone auto-corrrect fails. You *must* keep this service, if for no other reason than you can use it for blog material. New meme: visual voicemail Wednesday?

  49. Too funny! I'm just like you, I hate the phone and almost never check my voicemail, which stuns those of my friends who love the phone.

    I am the thinking you just being not for understanding the English language lol.

  50. Alexandra174

    Heehee! I feel like calling you just to see how my msg is massacred. PLEASE email me your phone number!!

  51. ksluiter

    This is WAY funny! We have Vonage too…and it emails us when we have a new message, but it doesn't give us the text of the message.

    now i want that. because HILARIOUS!

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