Because of the other…

Dear Katie and Matthew,

I have always known that I had enough love in my heart for both of you. I knew that I would love you to the moon and back. I also realized that I would love you differently.

What I didn’t know is that I would love each of you even more because of the other.

Where you, Katie, weren’t one for extended cuddling, Matthew cannot get enough. ┬áThose hugs and snuggles that he gives me flood a place in my heart that needed filling. But, his readiness to offer me so much affection makes me love and appreciate you more. When you approach me and ask me to snuggle with you, my heart nearly explodes because I can feel the love radiate off you in those moments. I know that they matter to you…each and every hug, kiss, and cuddle is invaluable.

And Matthew, when you take risks, climbing on everything, throwing yourself in over your head, I remember how Katie was more reserved. I had often worried that she was too timid and wondered if I should help teach her to take some risks. Now? When my heart lurches in my chest at the sight of you standing on the sofa, just giggling with delight, I am so proud of you, but I also appreciate Katie’s careful and deliberate nature.

Katie, you were such a peaceful baby. Life with you was like a dance…rhythmic and easy. Your daddy and I felt as though we were doing something right and believed in of ourselves as parents. When I needed to feel strong and confident, you gave me that. I will never forget that, Katherine. When Matthew arrived, there was no dancing. We ran hurdles…what felt like insurmountable hurdles. But they weren’t and we worked through the sleeping and reflux troubles and ever so slowly we found our rhythm. He pushed me to dig deep, to reach for solutions and then new solutions when those no longer worked. He taught me that I’m tougher and more resilient than I ever imagined.

Katie, you entered my world and taught me what it was to be a mother, to love beyond comprehension, and Matthew, you taught me about surprises and about trusting fate.

I am so grateful for your differences. For your individual strengths and weaknesses. You have taught me so much about myself…about your father…about life.

I couldn’t have asked for more wonderful children.

You are each made even more precious by your sibling.

I love you beyond measure, my beautiful babies,



  1. Dallely

    I'm crying, this is beautiful!! My girl is the calm one and the boy is busy.. Great post

  2. Sherri

    Oh Nichole….beautiful beyond words. My feelings captured here, by you, and so lovely. My two kiddos are as different as night and day, but I really believe that each is better because of the differences they have with the other. And I am a better parent for seeing how they are so different and yet so much the same. And that pic? There are no words for how cute those two are.

    We really need to be neighbors, so I can borrow those little ones and spoil them rotten. Really.

  3. Alex@LateEnough

    Great picture to sum it all up. It's amazing how different each one is. Who knew love could be so big?

  4. Cheryl @ Mommypants

    My first was also the easiest, and I think it was because if my second had been first, she'd have been an only.

    I did appreciate her smiles more, because they did't come as easily. My love for her was fiercer – not more, just different.

    You know how I feel about my third..

  5. Yuliya

    Oh so beautiful, but you know what my first reaction was? Wonder what the third will teach you… (no pressure)

  6. Oh this is so beautiful. It's amazing how two siblings can be so uniquely different and that's a good thing. Such a touching post ;)

  7. Klz

    Those two are going to love this blog one day

  8. Krista

    Ah… this is great, Nichole. I am really loving your sibling posts lately (obviously considering my timing.) They give me hope when I feel overwhelmed by the unknown and they make me smile imagining the moments yet to come. Thank you for that.

  9. This is beautiful!

  10. Megan-Best of Fates


    And I second KLZ.

  11. gigi

    I, too, love seeing the differences in my children. They teach me so much!

  12. Christine Marie

    My two, boy and girl, are so different, as well. This post practically put my own feelings about them into words.

  13. mommyofamonster

    The differences between the kids are so amazing, and I "get" what you mean by loving each of them more because of the other. The first time I saw that photo I loved it, and it still makes my heart skip a beat to see it :)

  14. So lovely.

    I had only the one, so…I did not feel this.

    But I am no less certain of its truth for not having felt it myself.


  15. Ahh this is beautiful…and your babes are so precious! I love to list the things I love about my kiddos. I actually made a list for my oldest…he used to carry it in his pocket when he was struggling at school. THe differences…their idiosycracies…their uniqueness…God made each of them, sewed them together…amazing!!!

  16. Tonya

    This is so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes. Another wonderful letter for your children to cherish. Your love for them is so deep and strong and I envy your ability to even attempt to put it into words.

    My favorite line is "I love you beyond measure", because isn't that the truth?

  17. OMGosh. I love this. THIS is why I love to blog.

  18. Efloraross

    This is fantastic! I know so many women who worry about how they will love multiple children without cheating one somehow. This offers such a wonderful and unexpected perspective. Awesome post!

  19. kris

    Well, this is just gorgeous.

    So lovely.

    It makes me so happy to think of your children reading this someday.

  20. Jessica

    This is just beautiful, something about the tenderness of these words to your children had my choking up within the first sentence or two. When they do read this some day? There will be no doubt of the love their mother has always had for them.

  21. Oh, I love this! It's so true. So well-phrased. Such a wonderful way to help your children know you love them equally.

  22. Beautiful children, beautiful words. Truly.

  23. JDaniel4's Mom

    What an amazing post! Your children will love reading this when they get older.

  24. What an amazing perspective! I just love this.

    I can sort of relate since I have my stepdaughter living with us now, too. Kinda.

    LoL I can relate enough to really love this post. It gives me something more to look forward to with future babies. :)

  25. I didn't realize I was holding my breath half way through! Beautiful! Your children are gorgeous!
    My daughter has terrible reflux issues we're in the middle of right now.
    You're writing flows so wonderfully

  26. Allison @ Alli n Son

    What a beautiful tribute to your kids. I hope that when baby number two arrives that his differences will strengthen my live for my both of my sons.

  27. MelissaDrMom

    What an absolutely beautiful letter to your children. I love how you celebrate their differences and how those differences have made you appreciate the other in some special way.

    They will certainly treasure reading this for years to come. And oh my gosh…you children are beautiful!

  28. Nichole

    Thank you so very much for your kind words.
    It's amazing how different they can be, isn't it?

  29. What beautiful words. And oh, how you reached right into my heart and pulled something up I've always felt myself but never consciously realized.____I love when that happens.____Thank you for reminding me that my precious children are even more precious because of their DIFFERENCES. Although this truth is a challenge, it is also a blessing.____And that's parenting in a nutshell, isn't it?____Lucky you. Lucky them. Lucky me.

  30. thirstymagnolia

    Loved this post. Totally expresses my feelings for my children too – now 10 and 12. When they were younger like yours I think I focused on how they were alike and lately have been focusing on their differences, which is what makes them such amazing little people!

  31. Nichole

    I like that idea of variety.
    Perhaps the fact that siblings are often so different helps them to deal with the rest of the world?
    I love the thought of Katie and Matthew reading my words and knowing that they were so incredibly loved.

  32. andygirl

    I cannot explain how fantastic this post is, how it touched my heart. every child needs to hear that. loved for his or her individuality and appreciated because of their differences. this may seem a little pathetic, but I'm wrapping this post around my heart and pretended my own mom wrote it. best I'll get. so thank you. <3

  33. Christina

    Beautiful post. It brought tears to my eyes and made me think of how different my own 2 are. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  34. Rachel

    My heart aches for the kind of love you have for your children. I am overwhelmed with emotion as your writing depicts such an amazing depth of love. This is such a beautiful piece, it brought tears to my eyes

  35. @latorres

    So beautiful! And my God you have the most gorgeous children I have ever seen!

  36. Such gorgeous children! I loved this letter; it was raw and real and really shows how much love you have for them. I also love how different they are and how they compliment each other. Great job!

  37. Kristy

    Oh, that is precious! A letter they will always treasure, knowing that their mom loves them so.

  38. Simply beautiful :)

  39. wantapeanutblog

    It is amazing how having a second child really teaches you more about the first (and vice versa). And how all the lessons you learned the first time around sort of go out the window when the second one is so different!

    You kids are beautiful, and this letter captures your love for them so nicely.

  40. ksluiter

    this is so lovely…and how beautiful are they? i always wonder about that second child…will he or she be similar or very different to Eddie? and in what way? or maybe there will be no second child…and what will that be like?

    happy sighs for Katie and Matthew.

  41. Maxine

    This is such wonderful writing.

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