Please Take Your Time … A Letter to My Son on His First Birthday

Dear Matthew,

Happy First Birthday, my sweet baby boy.

How is it possible that a year has passed since you entered our lives?

There’s so much that I want to tell you.  I long to help you understand just how much we love and value you.

For days, I’ve been trying to draft this letter to you, but every time that I sat down to put my feelings into words, I was overcome with love … pure love with no words attached. And the page before me remained blank.

Katie entered our world and brought us so much joy.  She was an easy baby and she enhanced so much of who I already was.  She is truly magical and has made me love more deeply, protect more fiercely, and appreciate life more fully.

When you entered our world, you were more challenging.  You didn’t sleep nearly as well, you cried day in and day out for months from terrible acid reflux. But you made me a better person. You taught me just how strong I am, how capable I am of loving even when things aren’t easy and perfect.  You taught me about myself, Matthew, and for that, I am so grateful to you.

Over the past year, you have grown into the sweetest baby.  You light up when you see me, you are delighted by Katie, and you squeal with joy when you hear Daddy’s car pull into the garage.

You love independent play, but every few minutes, you crawl over to me and climb onto my lap and hold me tight.  I always think that you are just checking in with me, looking for reassurance and a bit of love.

You are impossibly tender and loving. You hold on to me as though you’re trying to tell me just how much you love me.

I can’t imagine a world without you in it, Matthew.  I have come to love you more intensely than I could have ever dreamed.

Thank you for all that you have brought to my life.  Thank you for loving me and for making me a better person.

I hope that the upcoming year drags by.  I hope that you take your time learning how to walk.  I hope that you stay cuddly and soft.  Please take your time and stay my baby for just a bit longer, I can’t bear to have you grow up yet.

With a heart simply overflowing with love,

Mommy

31 comments

  1. Roxane roxanesdays.com

    Oh, Nichole. So so sweet.

    I was going to do the "one year letter" too, but I had a hard time putting the words down. It's so hard to describe the love we have for them because it is all consuming and inexplicable. You did an incredible job, though. This right here will be something Matthew treasures for the rest of his life.

    Thank you for sharing this. They really do grow way too quickly, don't they?

  2. meredith

    ohhhhh, how you melt my heart. every time. <3

  3. Pop

    Oh those cheeks! D1 looks practically malnourished when I compare her current cheeks w/ her 1st year cheeks. Have you figured out how to slow time down yet?

  4. Alexandra174

    It goes quicker, much more than they warn you.

  5. KLZ taminginsanity.com

    Happy birthday sweet baby. Tell your momma to give you a kiss for me.

  6. Love it!

  7. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Happy birthday, little man. You can't stop time, but i'm glad you are taking time to enjoy every moment together.

  8. @BeingMomNow twitter.com/BeingMomNow

    Happy Birthday Matthew!

    Nichole,
    What a sweet note to your little boy. They say that each of our children has something unique to teach us, what a perfect example of how this is true. My little one is only 1.5 months from turning 1 and I can't even begin to imagine all that I want to say to him. Thank you for making me realize that I should probably start thinking about it now.

  9. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    I really struggled to find the words to express just how much he has enriched my life. I still don't think I even began to capture how I feel!

    They grow far too quickly. I want to keep him small for ever.

  10. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    Love you!

  11. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    Far more quickly than you can even begin to understand before you have children.

  12. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    Your kiss has been delivered. :)
    Thank you…

  13. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    Thank you!

  14. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    Thank you…you know that I'm determined. I will find a way to stop time. You just watch. ;)

  15. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    Thank you so much.
    Start now, because it is so difficult to put into words just how emotional you will be as it gets closer.
    If you post it, be sure to tell me…I would love to read it. :)

  16. @zenfiremama twitter.com/zenfiremama

    awwww.. *tears*
    this is so sweet :)

    my lil guy is turning one this sunday. this really hit home with me

  17. that is precious. your heart as a mommy shines through. happy birthday matthew!

  18. Tayarra rtrsharpfamily.blogspot.com//

    Make me want to freakin cry! So well spoken! He is just adorable!! I love how you say he was more difficult but taught you so much about yourself! This makes me even more excited to see what our little guy will be bringing into our family soon!

  19. BringUpBee bringingupbronwyn.com

    Oh my, a year already? So hard to believe. Bronwyn is knocking on the door of a year, just two more months.

    Hold that little boy tight!

  20. Kate andthenkate.com

    Beautiful. Happy birthday, darling boy.

  21. Hope hoperoth.com/blog

    Happy birthday, Matthew!

    What a cutie.

  22. Renee 2old2tap.blogspot.com

    Happy Birthday Matthew!

    And Nichole, what a beautiful birthday card you have made for him.

  23. Megan-Best of Fates bestoffates.com

    Happy Birthday! And I love how you contrasted his babyhood with his sister's – isn't it crazy how much you learn about yourself in different situations? Like right now I've discovered I'm antsy when cold. Which might have something to do with not being able to figure out my heater. But that's besides the point – happy birthday Matthew!

  24. CDG

    Happy birthday, Matthew! And happy day to you, Nichole. Hope the whole family is enjoying your special day.

    What a beautiful letter and a beautiful boy!

  25. Varda (Squashedmom) squashedmom.com

    Happy Birthday, Matthew! You've got a great family.

  26. kris

    Awwww . . .

    My love to all of you.

    Happy sighs.

  27. Yuliya shesuggests.com

    What a cutie pie. Happy birthday to him!

  28. Natalie mommyofamonster.com

    I am all kinds of emotional today and that made me cry happy tears :)

    And that picture and those chubby little ankles? Make my heart SO happy.

  29. ksluiter

    I read this days ago and didn't have time to comment. Now I read it again as my little guy is climbing into the chair still in his jammies with a book. The growing up happens when we aren't looking, doesn't it? I hope Matthew reads this and agrees to stay your baby just a tad longer.

  30. Happy belated birthday, beautiful boy.

    You have a wonderful mama there. I know she is, because she is also a wonderful friend.

    Joy to you today and all days.

  31. Tonya lettersforlucas.blogspot.com/

    Happy (belated) Birthday, Matthew! I hope you know what an amazing mother you have.

    That first year just flies by, doesn't it? It's exciting and bittersweet. Enjoy the next year to it's absolute fullest. I know you will. :)

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