He was kind

Have you ever been lucky enough to meet someone with whom you were immediate friends? Someone who has lived through many of the same experiences that you have and immediately gets you? I’ve been fortunate enough just a handful of times to have immediate friendships like these. Today, one of these special friends is here to share a small moment with us.

I am so happy to hand this space over to my lovely friend Cheryl, who blogs over at Mommy Pants and The Red Dress Club.

He Was Kind – by Cheryl

l was 21 and there was this guy.

He was nice. Really, really nice.

We worked together. He was a few years older.

He had a sweet smile and brown eyes and a trace of Boston in his voice. He didn’t mind explaining which numbers corresponded to which position on the local minor league baseball team’s box score.

It was my first official newspaper job. I was finishing up some courses so I was living at school that summer and driving 40 minutes to work in Hartford at night.

The other nights? Were filled with nothing but a little homework and Cheers and the insistent chirping of crickets in the woods behind the apartment complex.

So I decided I’d ask Paul to the movies.

Because he was kind. And cute.

He wasn’t sure if it was just a friendly thing or a Date.

It was SO a date.

We decided to go to a bar downtown on our next date. As we walked down the street on that muggy night, he took my hand.

Fingers laced, each one firmly held between another.

Not like when you’re clutching your child’s hand in a vise-like grip to prevent escape into a busy parking lot.

This was a link, two equal parts joined together because each one wanted it that way.

And for someone like me, who’d spent my entire life up until that moment without ever having had a boy reach for my hand, without ever having one like me in THAT way, who’d watched my friends go through the rites of passage of first kiss, first boyfriend and everything that comes after without experiencing one moment for myself, who’d felt unloveable and ugly and lonely, well, when he took my hand?

Suddenly, I was no longer left behind.

Please make a trip over to see Cheryl at Mommy Pants.  I’ve even made you a cheat sheet of some of my favorite posts to get you started.

There’s a quality to Cheryl’s writing, a no-nonsense way about it, that is conversational and straight forward.  Her word is strong and true.  For a few vulnerable and honest examples, read Forgiveness, Riding with the top down, and Bullyhood.

And then there’s her maternal side that I adore.  She is engaged, present, intuitive, and proactive.  Her kids are gorgeous…wait, is there a word for beyond gorgeous?  To see just one example of the lengths to which she sacrifices for her children, read We’re Done.

She’s also a marathon runner (!) and puts an emphasis on her health so that she can remain strong, fit, and healthy for her children.  Be sure to read Fat, a moving piece on body image.

And once you’ve read those amazing posts, be sure to see her post for today, as I’m guest posting for her and sharing a story about a time when I had to put on my own “mommy pants.”


  1. Marian runawaysentence.com

    very, very nice. i was there with you. not like a stalker.
    Cheers! ha.

  2. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Maybe we should've dated? ;)

  3. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Me, brave? Not even. But thank you, my friend. xo

  4. Brave woman, you.

    I’m not surprised.

    Just saying out loud.


  5. Alexandra174

    I love Cheryl, too, for so many reasons. The biggest being that she is out to impress no one.

    I love that.

  6. Rachel mommyneedsavacation.com

    I LOVE Cheryl!! Great pick for a guest post!

  7. Natalie mommyofamonster.com

    I too am a huge Cheryl fan! But Cheryl….I want to know more now! How does the story end?

  8. Lydia squidmom.wordpress.com/

    I always feel like I can trust you for leading me towards really great writers, thank you for doing that. Cheryl, I loved your post here—off to read your pieces.

  9. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Thank you, Empress. That means a lot coming from you..

  10. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    You know I love ya right back, sister!

  11. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Let's see..we were together for four years, and then we both moved on. He remains a treasured friend today.

  12. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Thank you so much, Lydia!!

  13. Jen

    Cheryl, you captured the moment beautifully.

  14. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Aw, thanks, Jen! xo

  15. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Thanks, Nichole, for your very kind words. Much appreciated. And also for letting me take over your space for a day! xo

  16. Yuliya shesuggests.com/

    You asked him out? ROCK ON!
    And Nichole what a great selection of Mommypants' posts!

  17. Megan-Best of Fates bestoffates.com

    Perfectly written. And I'm so glad you had the guts to ask him out – well done!

  18. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Thanks! I was young and foolish back then.. ;)

  19. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Thank you so much! He truly is a wonderful person.

  20. Maryline francoamericandream.com

    Aren't these the best kind of moments? The beginning before the beginning… The foundation for what might be also. Nicely done!

  21. Tonya lettersforlucas.blogspot.com/

    I love this and I love it when small moments turn into life changing ones.

  22. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    The fact I remember this one moment 20 years later shows how big it was.

  23. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Thanks..especially when they're GOOD things!

  24. Sherri oldtweener.blogspot.com/

    You take me right back to those early days with someone…..so sweet, and wonderfully written, Cheryl! Boy, you gals are just blog-trading today!

  25. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Thank you! And yes, we are blog-trading fools! Also, just fools. ;)

  26. KLZ taminginsanity.com

    Kind is the best kind of first. Because that's really the most important thing.

    I really should tell you about some of my firsts one of these days.

  27. ksluiter

    I love Cheryl and her writing! it is very swoonable!

  28. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    I want to hear! I want to hear!

  29. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Swoonable? Swoon!!

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