Ten things you might be tempted to do if you lose internet access

We recently lost our Internet connection for a couple of excruciatingly long days.

In our house, as it would probably be in your home as well, this is a ridiculously huge deal.  I nearly lost my mind.  So, I have put together some tips for you, should you ever encounter such a horrible experience.

Here’s my advice: (You’d be wise to print this, since, well, you won’t be able to see it otherwise, in the event of an actual Internet emergency.)

Day One:

At this point, you may think that losing your Internet connection, while inconvenient, isn’t such a bad thing, as you can accomplish many of the nagging items on your to do list.

Here’s what you’ll be tempted to do at this stage of the game:

1.  Tidy up.
2.  Shower.
3.  Go outside.

Day Two:

Okay, having accomplished the items above, you will quickly realize that those things simply don’t stay done.  You will realize that completing those tasks was a complete waste of your time.

Feeling somewhat out of balance, since you’ve lost contact with the rest of the world for over 24 hours, you may turn your attention to the following, more lasting pursuits:

4.  Read something printed on actual paper.
5.  Organize your spices.
6.  Clean your pantry.

Later, on Day Two, complete loss of your mind will occur.  I highly recommend that you retire to your bed until you can be assured that your Internet is fully functional again. Ignore my advice and you will be tempted to:

7.  Iron.
8.  File 11 months worth of random receipts away.  By store.  By date.
9.  Organize your closets by color.
10. Wash lightbulbs.

Although our Internet access was restored at the end of Day Two, I had already planned my Day Three activities: organize the garage, make my own butter, and see how high I could count.

I was more than relieved that I didn’t have to go to those lengths.

Heaven help you if you make it to Day Three.


  1. Marian runawaysentence.com

    wash lightbulbs! the horror. i hope this never, ever happens to me.

  2. Lesile crunchybetty.com

    Haha. I snorted. SNORTED at this. (Although I really, truly, down deep felt your pain.)

    I would probably only put "Find out where Lori lives so she can shave my cat" on my day three.

    It's easier to stalk someone than shave your own cat.

  3. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    You are a wise woman. ;)

  4. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    It's so much brighter in here now though. ;)

  5. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    We used to have a big ragdoll cat who would get so hot in the summer that Craig used to shave him. It was the funniest thing to watch, like EVER. I'm going to have to dig up some before and after pictures to share with you. Hysterical!

  6. Roxane roxanesdays.com

    Hey, I'm with Mad Woman. Except my printer is not hooked up.

    Adding that to the list and THEN printing it out!

    Another addition? Sleep.

  7. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    I will happily join you in your Lori-stalking.

  8. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    Ah, sleep. Now why didn't I think of that? That would have been genius!

  9. Ella

    omg Forget the cleaning, my lightbulbs need replacing. Could you add it to the list?

    Probably won’t get done until I have nothing else to do, all the lights go out, or my husband does it. (not going to happen unless I nag)

  10. But making your own butter, how delicious. Can we still do that?

  11. kris prettyalltrue.com

    OK, the first part? About printing out this list now, while we have internet access . . .

    Made me giggle.

    I remember once looking up what to do with a fish-tank full of fish if the power were ever to go out. There were several steps to take in the event of a power-outage emergency. Great! The internet is so helpful! I am all set.

    And then, weeks later . . . the power went out.

    And I was unable to access that helpful list, because . . . duh . . . I had no power.

    And it had never occurred to me to print the list out.


    Poor fish.

  12. CDG

    you missed your chance to be one of those dairymaids, churning butter in a ridiculous frilly "pioneer" getup with a cap on your glistening blonde curls, and a farmer with tanned biceps and his shirt too far open for his farming work to be taken seriously leering down at you!

    well. now we all know what I'll be doing if I lose my internet.

  13. ksluiter

    your days without internet made me tired.

    I am pretty sure I would have bothered people if my internet went out.

    no. i am totally sure I would.

    and the first person to be bothered? @csluiter.

  14. Adrienne nopointsforstyle.com

    OK, me? Pretty sure I could never be bored enough to wash light bulbs.

    If my internet goes down, I harass my dogs. I also bug and bother my husband. This is by design, not accident. I take the opportunity to make sure that he never resents my time online by making my time NOT online unpleasant for him.

    So far, it works. Either that, or he likes me and enjoys seeing me happy. Six of one, right?

  15. IRON? Uh, no. Even loss of internet can't drive me to iron! This wash-and-wear (or tumble it out in the dryer) gal would be hopping in the car, laptop in the passenger side, and driving over to my daughter's to piggyback on her internet connection! I truly couldn't make it three days. Or even two.

  16. lelisa13p

    I cave and drive to the Library for a 1 hour fix. It’s better than nothing. Nowadays the iPhone would be OK for when the Library was closed. I’m already planning for the next power outage, the usual cause of interruption. Thanks for the reminder; sorry it happened to you!

  17. Sherri oldtweener.blogspot.com/

    Oh man, making butter and washing lightbulbs! So old school…grandma would be proud. How did we ever get along without the Internet?!

  18. susie newdaynewlesson.com

    lol-enough said

  19. Tonya lettersforlucas.blogspot.com/

    Funny! Sadly, I really could do without Internet access for a few days. It would do my still 1/2 unpacked, unorganized, piles everywhere and blank walls some good! :)

  20. I can't even imagine going through this. So, in light of the internet twitter… can you even read this?

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