I’ve apologized for many things in my life.
I’ve apologized when I’ve done something wrong.
I’ve apologized when I’ve done nothing wrong.
The problem with the apologies I’ve made to make peace and ease awkwardness is that they will undoubtedly be issued to the same person for the same “offense” again, because the apology wasn’t for my actions, but rather for having hurt someone I love.
Let me clarify.
Say, for instance, I don’t call you for a while. I get wrapped up in my own life, raising my children, loving my husband, keeping up with my blog. I don’t choose not to call you, I just can’t find more than five minutes of quiet in a row. Time passes and I know that you are growing angry with me. So, I know that when I do call you, I’ll need more time, since you are upset and I’ll need to address that. So, I don’t call, because, well, I don’t have more than five minutes of quiet in a row. And in those rare instances when I do, I use those moments to keep my head from exploding.
So, what do I do with this snowballing situation? Historically, I have always eventually broken down, shoved everything else aside, and apologized just to make peace. But the older I get, the more I just can’t do that.
I’m curious about your thoughts on apologies…
What is the goal of an apology? To make ourselves or the other person feel better?
Is there a ritualistic element to apologizing…do we apologize because it is expected of us?
Do you ever apologize when you believe that you shouldn’t?