And I Love That About Her

My dear friend Kris,

As I sat and thought about reaching my 100th blog post, I honestly could barely remember a time when you weren’t here by my side.

You were the first person to leave a comment on my blog.  You weren’t the first non-family member to comment, but my very first commenter ever. Your words made me ridiculously excited and put an end to that dreadful silence of the zero comments I had received on my first four posts.

You responded to my Crazy Stalker or Grateful Readerpost, wherin I professed my early love for you and your amazing blog.

Here’s what you said:

Which is kind of funny now, since we all know you don’t use a reader.  ;)

But, you stayed true to your word and kept reading.  And commenting.

As I was finding my blogging voice, you were there.  You listened, you answered my questions, and you helped me to find myself. You tolerated my DMs about such things as how to find hosting and where to buy my domain name. You tirelessly shared your knowledge.

When I explained to you what I was trying to do with this little space of mine, you truly got it. And ever since, whenever I stray off the path, you are there to help me recenter.

When I cautiously opened my heart about my early struggles with Matthew, you reassured me with:

When I shared the details of my first heartbreak, you shared this with me:

When I told the story of my brother’s death and the impact it has had on me and on my experience as a mother, you wrote:

Later, when my heart was so very heavy and I wrote about Craig’s mother’s impending death, you were there.  You offered me these kind words:

And after her death, when I was floundering a bit, wondering how to reenter this blogging world, you gave me advice that made all the difference…

When I wrote of my complete craziness in trying to get pregnant, complete with microscope and ever-patient husband, you teased:

When I was brainstorming Small Moments Mondays, you were my sounding board and you were the first in line to post.  You so generously handed over your beautiful moment to set the tone for my series and I will be forever grateful for that.

When my heart ached over the idea of dismantling Katie’s crib and making the transition to a big girl bed, you understood.  You knew exactly what I felt:

When I shared my frustration and sadness over the labels others have placed on Katie, you shared your strength and wisdom with me:

In those days leading up to the end of Katie’s sessions with her beloved speech therapist, you understoood exactly what that relationship has meant to our family and why letting it go was so difficult:

When I felt ready to I bare my soul by sharing the story of how I faced and offerered forgiveness to my father’s murderer, you wrote:

And when I put myself out there, had my feelings hurt, and was grappling with how to process what I was feeling, you offered me the following words of wisdom:

There are so many beautiful and gracious people who have touched my life by loyally reading and commenting on my blog, but without your encouragement, I can’t say with any certaintly that I would have come even this far.

You have offered me tremendous kindness, encouragement, and guidance.  You are always there to share your perspective, laughter, and wisdom.

Thank you for being my touchstone. For asnwering my questions, ad nauseum.  For reading my words when I’m too timid to publish them.  For pushing me to push myself.

And I know that this will make you cringe, but you continually inspire me.  Your writing is truly impeccable.  It is beautiful and transportive, irreverent and provocative.  Your dedication to your blog, to your readers, to your friends speaks volumes about the woman that you are.

You are a beautiful blend of strength and vulnerability, serious and silly, hard and soft. 

You are the perfect paradox.

And you are my friend. 

Your friendship proves that blog friends are real.

I am so beyond blessed.

I love you,



  1. Roxane

    Kris is the perfect paradox, isn't she? I doubt there is another blogger out there who could possibly make their readers feel as connected to them as Kris does with hers. You are lucky to have this rapport with her.

    Have I mentioned I love her, too? I so do.

    What a beautiful tribute!

  2. TamingInsanity

    Can you get any better? No really. You're perfect. Microscope and all.

  3. Isn't it crazy how close you can feel to blog friends?

    Non-bloggers just don't get it.

    Also – there were a couple of those posts I missed, so now I'm excited to go read them!

    p.s.~ Kris is brilliant.

  4. Sharyn

    Wow, now I have to go find this Kris and find out what she's writing.
    Thank you.
    This is such a moving piece!

  5. Katie

    happy sighs about Kris.

    so many happy, happy sighs about Kris.

  6. I love this. And so glad I did. I need to start following Kris as well.

    She sounds simply splendid.

    Just as I know you are. :)

    And you are totally right… Blog Friends *are* Real.

  7. l0serm0m

    THIS moved me. ((sighs)) …speechless… (and that's not easily done)

  8. Nichole

    So many of us have been impacted by her, haven't we?
    Lucky, lucky us. :)

  9. Nichole

    Better? Or more crazy? :)
    Love you!

  10. Nichole

    I would have never believed how close I could feel to someone who I've never actually met in person. These bloggy friendships are pretty amazing.
    So glad that you stopped by. :)

  11. Nichole

    You won't be sorry. She'll make you laugh, cry, and think.
    Thank you for commenting!

  12. Nichole

    So glad you stopped by. And thank you for your words of wisdom yesterday. :)
    Blog friends are very real.

  13. kris

    Oh my god.

    Nichole? What have you done here today?

    I am speechless and so touched.

    I don't even know what else to say.

    I love you.

    I have no other good words today.

    I just love you.

  14. Cheryl @ Mommypants

    What a lovely, lovely tribute. I'm glad you found each other – and I'm glad I have found both of you, too. Love you guys!

  15. The Sweetest

    Kris does have a way with words. In reading her blog, I feel like I know her well. And every comment she gives me is sincere- and much appreciated!

  16. Coma Girl

    How sweet! I love Kris too. But obviously not as much as you – going through all old comments and collecting them seems like lots of work ;)

  17. Marian

    and congratulations on your 100th post! here's to a million more moments.

  18. Alexandra174

    Oh, there aren't enough words for Kris. She was so kind to me. I began blogging end of Feb., I discovered Kris in April, I don't know through which rabbit hole. And I instantly felt at home. Her first post, that I ever read , was on falling away from an old girlfriend.

    It held me spell bound…every one else was not as vulnerable and open and I felt as if I were really communicating with someone , and not at a fluff level.

    Yeah, I make it over there. Maybe hours after everyone else does, but I make it.

    And, yup…you do have to be a blogger to understand these relationships are real and what keep me going.

    Better than any prescription I've ever had.

    Lovely to get to know you, too…

  19. Jennifer

    What a beautiful story. All I can say is the world needs more people like Kris! I loved her responses, you really felt like she "listened" to what you were saying, she empathized and was clearly "there" for you! How wonderful of a friend you have. Like others…now I have to seek her out and hope there is enough love in her and you to share this wonderful person!

  20. GuiltySquid

    You are so fantastic. You are so good at sharing your emotions. That requires a bravery that I often lack. I’m not good at that, but get so much joy at reading you, because you are good at it.

    You share so generously, and I have come to know and love you through your writing.

    Congrats on the 100th post.

    Kris is an amazing friend, indeed.

  21. lelisa13p

    Wow. You ladies are so much yourselves, authentic & true. It’s extraordinary to bask in the glow of your words, whether joyous & kind (like here today) or raw & nerves exposed, soul laid bare (like Kris’ blog yesterday.) My world is a more vibrant place since I began peeking into yours. Thank you, Nichole & Kris, for the privilege. *happy sighs here, too*

  22. this is beyond amazing. what beautiful, authentic and loving words to a true friend!

  23. It's kismet that I found your site (on Twitter actually.) I started following you as I originally hail from Nor Cal and now live in Montana, and I just completed my 206th blog post!

    If you get time, I'd love to have you visit my blog at

  24. Sherri

    Wow, what a touching post! I have been a follower for only a short time, and I love it here. And now I just have to go over and visit this Kris, too. Anyone who doesn't blog doesn't get it, but there's a real community here and I'm happy to have stumbled on it only a few short months ago. Thank you for a wonderful tribute to a friend…one you may never have met if it hadn't been for this crazy thing we call bloggy world.

  25. Nichole

    And I love you.

  26. Nichole

    This blogging world is a lovely thing, isn't it?
    I'm so insanely happy to have met you.
    Love you!

  27. Nichole

    Comments are like gifts, aren't they?
    And Kris is so ridiculously gifted…one day she'll be all published and famous and we'll be part of her entourage. :)

  28. Nichole

    I remembered so many of them without even trying.
    I absolutely love all of the comments left here and I appreciate each and every person who leaves one. :)

  29. Nichole

    Thank you so much.
    Let's just hope that I don't run out of things to say.

  30. Nichole

    The comment section of her blog is like a huge cocktail party. Sometimes I'm late to the party too, but I always feel welcome. :)

    She is a gift to us all, there is no question about that.

    And it has been wonderful to get to know you better, too.
    Will you be at BlogHer? :)

  31. Nichole

    That's the beauty of her comments…she really does listen and even if she doesn't agree, she has something sincere to say.

    Hope you visited her…her Saturday posts are my favorites.

  32. Nichole

    Thank you, my wonderful, lovely friend.

  33. Alexandra174

     IntenseDebate Notification <DIV>Naahhh….I'm too shy and sensitive and self doubting to attend BLogHer. I just know I'll come home dejected and rejected…</DIV> <DIV></DIV> <DIV>I just know it.</DIV> <DIV></DIV> <DIV>Do you go?</DIV> <DIV style=”FONT: 10pt arial”>

  34. Alexandra174

     IntenseDebate Notification <DIV>Naahhh….I'm too shy and sensitive and self doubting to attend BLogHer. I just know I'll come home dejected and rejected…</DIV> <DIV></DIV> <DIV>I just know it.</DIV> <DIV></DIV> <DIV>Do you go?</DIV> <DIV style=”FONT: 10pt arial”>

  35. Alexandra174

     IntenseDebate Notification <DIV>Naahhh….I'm too shy and sensitive and self doubting to attend BLogHer. I just know I'll come home dejected and rejected…</DIV> <DIV></DIV> <DIV>I just know it.</DIV> <DIV></DIV> <DIV>Do you go?</DIV> <DIV style=”FONT: 10pt arial”>

  36. susie

    I finally posted and I put your post link in the linky thing on the bottom.

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