A Rockin’ Time

I’ve featured so many beautiful moments here on Small Moments Mondays.  (I still can’t believe that this week’s small moment brings the total to eleven!)

These special moments never fail to make me melt and I often feel as though I am peeking in a window–a window to a beautiful and private moment.

This week, however, I feel as though I am in the room.  So much about this magical moment feels familiar. 

I am thrilled to share with you a story about the love between my amazing friend, Katie, and her precious little boy, Eddie.  Katie has carefully captured a tender, priceless moment and she is generously sharing it with us. 

And that’s how Katie is…generous.  She is also funny despite herself, caring, supportive, intelligent, and strong.  I am blessed to know her and to call her my friend.

Thank you, Katie…for your post and for your friendship.

A Rockin’ Time — by Katie

When Nichole asked me to be a part of her Small Moments Mondays series, I was totally honored! I think this is such a great idea because way too often we blog about the big events or the big feelings and emotions, but we don’t take time to really look at the little things—the small moments that actually are the ones making up our lives. 

So I immediately began to brainstorm.  But of course it’s hard to just think up a small moment because we so easily gloss over them—but because of this, I had to become much more aware of what is going on minute by minute wondering if each little smile or sigh was what I wanted to do my post about.

Last night I realized what my Small Moment is.  It happens every day and is getting to be so routine, it was totally easy to overlook, even though it’s probably the most important part of my day: Rocking Eddie before bed.

Our routine is as old as he is.  Eddie and I have logged a LOT of time in this chair:

The chair belonged to my parents and it’s the same chair they rocked me and both of my brothers in when we were babies.  It matched Eddie’s nursery, so I brought it in.  I had NO idea that I would spend as much time in it as my mom claimed to spend when I was small.

Before Eddie was born, I used to sit in that chair and read the books I already had for him out loud so he could hear them inside the womb.  I wanted him to be familiar with reading.  I dreamed of how wonderful it would be to have a small, soft little bundle of baby to snuggle in this chair.

Then Eddie arrived.  And yes, we spent LOTS of time in that chair.  Usually crying.  Both of us.

You see, Eddie was colicky.  As colicky as can be for almost a full three months.  That chair became my jail.  There was nothing that would calm him, so I did what I knew, I rocked.  Friends would be over and as soon as Eddie started crying, I would excuse myself and rock in that chair.  Sometimes for hours at a time.  He would be inconsolable and I would just sob.  I could hear my friends out in the living room, my husband trying to entertain them, and I would continue rocking.

But it’s different now.  Each night by 8pm, I gather him up from his toys, we find his pipey, and we head to his nursery.  And he knows.  He waves to daddy as we pass him on the couch.

 As we enter his room, the lights are out, but the soft glow of the nightlight leads us to the rocker.  I always have my bathrobe on so that when I sit down, he gathers up the fleece belt and rubs it on his nose.

And we start to rock.  I quietly begin singing, “You Are My Sunshine” just loud enough that he can hear it over the low hum of the humidifier.  I bury my nose in his curly blond hair and close my eyes for a second.

He used to fit in my arms when we did this.  Now he sits on my lap all turned in toward me, face buried in my robe.  He lets out a little sigh, I sing, “Amazing Grace.”

He is quiet.  I am quiet. We silently rock.  Not because I couldn’t put him in bed yet.  I could.  But because this is the quietest part of my day.  Not just because of lack of sound, but because of lack of activity.  I am most still when I am rocking Eddie.

This is the moment of my day that I am just Momma.

I stroke his curls; I kiss his cheeks; I stop rocking.  I pause one second longer knowing that outside the nursery door is a living room to be picked up, twitter friends, blogging to do, the world.  I want to hold Eddie one second longer because tomorrow he will be a little bit older—a little bit closer to not wanting those bedtime cuddles.

As I lay him down in his crib, I know I have to quietly sneak out, but again I wait.  I kiss my fingers and touch his face and promise he will always be my baby.

Please be sure to stop over and say hello to Katie on her blog, Sluiter Nation.  Her writing is honest, open, and it captures just how much she loves her family and how appreciative she is of the love that surrounds her.

To get a true sense of who Katie is, be sure to read this handful of posts: Long Road, White Walls, Coming Together To Make a Difference, and  What’s In a Name?

Once you have read these, I’m certain that you’ll be as in love with Katie as I am and you will feel all cozy over there.

29 comments

  1. Great post Katie!! I spent a lot if time sobbing while my kids wouldn’t fall asleep. Kinda a rough rite of motherhood passage.

  2. Marian runawaysentence.com

    Katie, what a beautiful post! Mama of two colicky kids here, we used to call it the Witching Hour. we are a two-rocking-chair household so at least i could get a change of scenery. so glad that time has passed for you. xo to you and Eddie, too!

  3. *sigh* Great post! :) I love the before bed snuggles. I have my own routine with Boo & I love that little private time that I have him all to myself. I treasure that time so much. :)

  4. Rachel mommyneedsavacation.com/

    What a great post! I love the before bed snuggles!!

  5. *sigh* I want a baby.

    too sweet!

  6. Cheryl @ Mommypants mommypants.com

    Oh, how well I know The Colic. I know about being isolated from the world while you do what you can to soothe a screaming baby. And how you appreciate the quiet moments so much more.

  7. Natalie mommyofamonster.com

    This is my favorite part of the day…the quiet time right before bed when it's just the two of us. And I love smelling his hair!!

    My niece was colicky. I have so much respect for mothers of colicky babies because I'm not sure I could handle it.

  8. jedwardswright

    Mother Hen here, loving your rocker entry!
    If you have not yet discovered Robert Munsch's "I Love You Forever" picture book, Mother insists that you do so at the first possible opportunity! It is a perfect compliment to your story of you and Eddie rocking. It may even make you cry. (Mother Hen will only admit to getting somewhat misty in the general beak area.)
    Maternally yours,
    Mother Hen http://motherhensnest.wordpress.com

  9. kris prettyalltrue.com

    For me, it was a green glider chair. Not really a rocker, but that same soothing back and forth motion.

    And especially with Maj? My first and much more difficult baby?

    So much time spent in that chair, trying to soothe her as well as myself.

    So many tears. Sigh.

    A lovely post.

    Thank you.

  10. ksluiter

    everyone kept telling me it was a phase…and it was so short compared to his life…but at the time? oh it was hard!

  11. ksluiter

    it's funny because when I rock him now? I can hardly remember those times. in fact, I think of the good in them…the littleness of him in my arms…not the screaming. but it happened. oh boy did it.

  12. ksluiter

    it is by FAR my favorite part of the day. I look forward to that quiet…that peacefulness. sigh…

  13. ksluiter

    me too! yay! :)

  14. ksluiter

    even now…a full year after he calmed down…i STILL appreciate the quiet. I am still scared the screaming will come back–but it doesn't. There is just quiet. sigh…

  15. ksluiter

    I did not handle it well. I don't know any mother who does. It's just really REALLY difficult. Like I said, I spent hours bawling. There is a reason I lost all the baby weight…I wasn't eating. I was crying and rocking!

    but yes, the rocking now? the most perfect part of my day.

  16. ksluiter

    yes! we have that book! I tried to read it aloud when he was still in my tummy. I couldn't. too many tears. then I tried to read it to him when he was a newborn. still couldn't. Now, some nights, I can get through it with him, but the tears still roll down my face. Such a wonderful book! Thank you so much for the comment :)

  17. ksluiter

    hopefully the first baby is the one to break a momma in. otherwise I? am in trouble.

    and you are very welcome. I am not all weird all the time.

    sometimes? I am just a mom looking for the quiet moments.

  18. Maryline francoamericandream.com

    You said it so well. My favorite part too, the quiet snuggle time before the little one drifts off to sleep.
    Nothing is sweeter than this. Nothing.

  19. aclundgren thelungos.blogspot.com

    Thank s for sharing! So sweet.

  20. TamingInsanity

    Oh man, I really need another baby. These ones we have are growing up too fast. Not wanting bed time cuddles? Unthinkable!

    My favorite time is snuggling first thing in the morning before the day starts.

  21. Adrienne nopointsforstyle.com

    Jacob wanted to snuggle all the time, but Abbie was not so generous. In the evening, though, she wanted me to rock her while I sang the humming song (no idea what the tune actually is; I know I didn't make it up, but I don't know where it came from).

    Sweet, sweet memories.

  22. ksluiter

    yes. the sweet little smells and sounds of a day ending. another day gone away. sigh…

  23. ksluiter

    you're welcome! you're sweet!

  24. ksluiter

    yes, he does that too! He gets up and snuggles with daddy. That is daddy's time :) I get bedtime. happy sighs…

  25. ksluiter

    next to a naked running baby? these will be my favorite memories. THIS is what makes an entire day of crap worthwhile.

  26. ksluiter

    yes…eddie gets borrowed by his grandmas and his aunties/uncles quite often. they want in on the sweet cuddles too. And luckily? my mom is so wonderful she shared the scream-filled rocking with me too. I can't believe how quickly that all went by.

    sigh…

  27. lelisa13p

    That was so lovely! I am astonished at how much time has passed since I last enjoyed bedtime rocking; my son is grown. Pure joy is having that sweet little person snuggled up against your heart. Bedtime rocking evolved into Story Hour as my son got older and he’d sit on my lap and “help” me read to him before bed. He was an excellent page turner and the book had to be read exactly the same way every time. I think he memorized the words. *sigh* Heavenly.

  28. Tracie fromtracie.com

    This is so precious. I remember those moments of rocking my daughter when she was a baby. All snuggled into me. Her tiny little hand intertwined with mine.

  29. Nichole inthesesmallmoments.com

    Thank you to everyone who came by and shared some comment love with Katie.

    And thank you, Katie, for sharing your small moment with us. Your story touched so many and made us all remember those special bedtime moments.

    Thank you for that. :)

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