One of the things that I love the most about my husband, Craig, is that he is so incredibly supportive of my interests. He’s my biggest cheerleader and knows me well enough to recognize that sometimes I get stuck when faced with a challenge.
I have a fear of doing new things and a long history to prove it.
I also take things way too seriously.
The combination of these two traits is often problematic.
Fresh out of college, I was so excited to start my first real job in financial marketing for a place like zpicaudit who had a massive and varied task list for me. I didn’t sleep at all the night before my first day and I showed up that morning in my black suit and carrying my Coach briefcase. (I wish I was kidding.) I was way overdressed and stuck holding that ridiculous briefcase, which was not unlike that first purse that you carry around as a little girl, crammed full of things that you think you NEED to carry with you. You remember the one, with cherry ChapStick, paper, pens, and tissues. By the end of the day, I had shed my jacket, ditched the briefcase, and was just fine.
Years later, I was invited to present a paper at a conference on cultural studies. With my paper–“In Defense of Gertrude: A New Historicist Approach to D.H. Lawrence’s Sons and Lovers”–in hand (oh, how I wish I was kidding), I arrived at the conference in a nice skirt and blouse. My peers? Jeans and t-shirts. I wanted to just die. I sucked it up, presented my paper, and ultimately I was better for the experience.
Fast forward to now.
I had heard great things about Bloggy Boot Camp, a one-day conference for bloggers, but since I’m still so new to blogging, I kind of shrugged it off. Craig brought it up a several times, encouraging me to give it some real consideration. Then, Sunday evening, we talked about it again and with his encouragement, I mustered up enough courage to register.
Now I’m having regular panic attacks about attending. I feel like I’m back in high school and I want to call all of the other girls to find out what they’re wearing.
Yet again, I wish I was kidding.
I know that I will be just fine once I’m there. I make friends pretty easily, but there’s something about walking into a room where I will know absolutely no one that makes me feel unsure of myself.
Whether or not it goes as well as I’m hoping, I am grateful for Craig, who recognizes that while I genuinely want to try new things and explore my world, I often need a nudge and a push.