We suffered a miscarriage in December of 2008. We were eight weeks along, and needless to say, we were devastated and disillusioned. I remember feeling that I would never be able to make sense of it, of why it happened to us.
Then, we were blessed to get pregnant again right away with our beautiful baby Matthew. When he entered the world on November 17, 2009, it all made sense. If we hadn’t miscarried, we would have never had him. Matthew is the baby that I was meant to have. His soul is tender and he simply exudes love. I can’t help but think that our lost child taught me something about having faith and that Matthew was gifted to me to teach me something about myself, about life and I am so grateful for him. When I look into his eyes, I feel as though I’ve known him forever, that he understands me in some important way.
There was a time when I couldn’t fathom having a son. Now I ache inside at the thought of not having our beautiful Matthew.